"Emotional Narcolepsy" - a terrible urge to sleep when around them?

[lilith]

For the longest time I thought it was a symptom of the ME/CFS. But I realised it's triggered by her. Even when I think about her coming home from work. I started calling it "emotional narcolepsy" - my vision goes blurry, I lose my train of thought, my chest feels so heavy, and I have this terrible, irresistible urge to sleep. If it happens when I'm driving, it can be quite dangerous and I have to struggle with all my might to pull out of it. Whenever I'm around my family, I feel like I took five sleeping pills. All I want to do is go to sleep and not think.

Does anyone else have this? Could it really be some type of CPTSD symptom? Today it is so debilitating I can't function. Most days it keeps me from doing even the basic things like making medical appointments or phone calls.

I just want to know that I'm not crazy or somehow doing this to myself. Thank you for reading.

[Starboard Song]

You aren't crazy.

I don't have this myself but a colleague does: stress induced acute fatigue. Like, he gets bad news about his daughter and is suddenly unable to keep his eyes open. He says that brief meditations have helped him. He has to take a moment to set aside feelings of general angst and fear, describe the situation to himself, and then commit himself that it is time to get to work making decisions or taking action.

I think it still bothers him, but giving himself a feeling of empowerment makes it manageable. It's worth a shot.

[Hattie]

Maybe this is a form of dissociation?

[Jumping Juniper]

Yes I have had this. It is a CPTSD response. It is the Freeze/Fawn response and I used to have it. I used to pretend or actually zone out to sleep in really dangerous scenarios. Whenever I experienced a stressor/danger, I would want to sleep.
Pete Walker talks about this here..

http://pete-walker.com/fourFs_TraumaTypologyComplexPTSD.htm

I don't get it anymore. Once I realised what had happened to me from a dysfunctional family, it all turned to rage instead. So I started getting the fight response instead. I have been able to slowly control this aswell.
Personally I found it easier to heal once I got stuck in the "fight" mode and start easing up from there, than being in the freeze/ fawn response. I do slightly get the odd disassociation now and then but I quickly snap out of it.
The best thing for me is having a place that I feel safe and a friend who has been my confidante through my healing journey and helped me through CPTSD healing. I have healed so much since.

[Hazy111]

I agree, this  is probably a disassociative technique.  Good to see Peter Walkers quoted. A must for children of PDs.

[Hilltop]

I get bouts of exhaustion after dealing with my parents.  I think for me the stress builds up and I simply need rest.  I guess I sort of shut down.  Its not as bad as you say but I just feel wiped out.  Its for that reason I now limit contact with my parents.

I would say if your family is having this affect on you, take some time away from them.  Let your body heal.

[P&K]

I absolutely got this before NC! It was a way I could escape from the challenging interactions with my pwpd.
Monologues start, eyelids get heavy within 10 minutes. Always exhausted after every visit.
I hope you find the answers you need, you're not crazy!

[daughter]

I think it's preemptive passive self-protection method to shroud us from direct contact-interference from our difficult relatives.  During our years of coerced contact with my NPD enmeshed parents and GC nsis/"golden boy" nbil, DH inevitably fell asleep, seated in whatever chair, after dinner until departure time. Total self-protective furtive but polite "check-out" from ensuing narcissistic brag-fest of said family members.

Me, I'd page thru BNM's magazine pile, contribute a word or two, here and there.  My SG duty-role was to "appreciatively listen" to these extra-special super-powered folks congratulate themselves on their awesomeness. BNM likely would chastise me for "not paying attention", to which we'd graciously depart within 15 minutes due to whatever likely excuse would work, to which BNM would further scold me.

This Grey Rock approach made mandatory weekly FOO dinners somewhat tolerable for many years.

[lilith]

Yes I have had this. It is a CPTSD response. It is the Freeze/Fawn response and I used to have it. I used to pretend or actually zone out to sleep in really dangerous scenarios. Whenever I experienced a stressor/danger, I would want to sleep.
Pete Walker talks about this here..


I don't get it anymore. Once I realised what had happened to me from a dysfunctional family, it all turned to rage instead.

Thank you so much for that article, it was really helpful. I can see that I was fawn/flight my whole childhood, and then when I got sick and had a kind of permanent nervous collapse, I just couldn't get energy from anxiety any more, all my brain could do in the face of a stressor was go to sleep.

I wish I could access a rage state like you described. I feel like I've earned it lol, and I need it, but my body is too exhausted, just destroyed really.

[lilith]

I think it's preemptive passive self-protection method to shroud us from direct contact-interference from our difficult relatives.  During our years of coerced contact with my NPD enmeshed parents and GC nsis/"golden boy" nbil, DH inevitably fell asleep, seated in whatever chair, after dinner until departure time.

You said it perfectly. It's almost like a circuit breaker in my head - when I feel like I'm about to be overwhelmed by them, it shuts down everything. The worst part is having to pretend like I'm not sleepy, because if I shut my eyes they would get stressed and angry at me for spoiling their perfect family dinner, and then my mother would harangue and guilt me afterwards, acting so perplexed about what is wrong with me (she only cares when it interrupts her image of a perfect family gathering, the rest of the time she ignores my obvious pain).

Yes, I need to leave these people on the pronto, just as soon as I can stay awake long enough to do it!

[Jumping Juniper]

Another thing that has worked for me is to pick up an interest that my family has zero interest and knowledge of whatsoever so it is not connected to them at all.
Whenever I feel triggered and sucked into their world, I concentrate on the world that is mine and they have no claim over.
It's very easy being with these people for them to ruin everything that you hold dear and drag it all into the mire.

If you have something that is just for you and you keep it just for you then I find this very soothing and gives me confidence and grounding.
When you feel that urge to sleep it is almost as though you are still in their world and still reacting to their stuff.

Once you have this other life that doesn't connect them then you may find you dissociate less and less as it is your safe space.

You know how you can change channels on a TV when it is something distressing? Well developing a private life through interests that don't concern them is like suddenly being given a remote control for the TV. In the past you were forced to watch the unpleasant thing as you couldn't change the channel so you had to escape it somehow. If not physically leaving a room, dissociating is a way to mentally leave a room instead.

Building up another life that excludes them is having the remote control so you don't have to leave the room or dissociate you can just change the channel.

Replacing the thoughts with the ones that cause dissociation with the ones about your own interests will hopefully help this.

[lilith]

Thanks Jumping Juniper, that's a really great creative idea. It actually reminded me that when I was a kid reading (and music) were my much healthier methods of dissociation, and I've really lost them. So I'm going to try to read more, and also start to think about what could be a new interest like you describe. Thanks friend 😊

[Jumping Juniper]

My pleasure friend! I hadn't really thought about it myself before but I just realised that this really worked for me even though it wasn't intentional. I just noticed the difference in me when I did it.

Something about not giving it the emotional time or space in my head. Like they say "don't let them live rent free in your head". Let instead a reliable tenant stay there that actually pays you with value in your life!

Will send you prayers!

[j.banquo]

Oh, absolutely. One of the weird states I've found myself in over and over is this one. Just needing to sleep 12 hours a day, no energy, nothing.

Understanding it as an emotional/CPTSD flashback made it possible to take care of. Kind of "oh, if it's that, then let's handle it that way," and it affects me totally differently. I can move through and past it.