Five years since I first registered.

[feralcat]

Hi everyone.

Five years since I first logged in. Amazing. A lifetime ago, In some respects. I've changed so much in between.
I haven't re-read my original posts - I didn't get a lot of feedback...probably because I was so guarded that my questions were too 'cryptic', as one of my sisters accused me of. So afraid of putting my head above the parapet. That I'd get shot down , as I'd been used to having been constantly. (Invisible/lost child)

Lurked a lot since though !

This site has been a godsend in helping me to process the seemingly never ending revelations . Reading the posts - and the responses , to find answers that might be relevant to me.

I've gone from fully enmeshed with FOO, and partial enmeshment with in laws, to virtually a bystander role.
They no doubt think I'm odd, and don't actually care.I've learned to use boundaries !

I still get triggered too much by certain situations (especially re my drafted abandonment issues) unfortunately. Even in my marriage - my H is still voluntarily in his own FOG, and so we don't talk about my journey any more. It's pointless. I know he'd really like me to revert to the person I used to be. We were codependent.

I need to get back to counselling though. To move forward, rather than dwell on the past.
Been stuck in the past for too long, and that doesn't change anything.

[xredshoesx]

i completely understand.  i post way more on the admin side/ supporting then the sharing side of my own stuff.  just being able to read and learn from the sharing of others has been life changing to say the least for me.  i'm glad you felt comfortable enough to share today and hope to see you more on the boards in the new year.