Well here I am again!!!

[Dodo]

Well silly me, I moved out of the house i lived in with my ex I bought a house with my son and moved into my own suite.  Then I went on dating site (2) and didn't meet anyone I was the least bit attracted to or if on the odd occasion they turned out to just want sex.  The problem was when I was living by myself I had no help what so ever and there was my ex who helped me with a lot of moving trouble and furniture fixes, then he came by and saw my new place we started talking occasionally I needed some help getting to a few appointments which my boys are so busy and wrapped in their own lives that I felt I no one so I excepted my ex's help. Then he drove me to one appointment and was so sweet and caring that I started to fall in love with him again!  Well here I am in Mexico he is in my suite looking after our dog and we are back together so it seems.  He said he did a lot of sole searching and knew the break up was his fault, so he is going to try and do a few things with me go places we will see each other a few times a week and will both still have our own separate places. Well last night a few of ladies that I came on the trip with were sitting around the table here and I was on the phone with my ex and they were having fun and talking about us dancing with the waiters at the place we go to for happy hour.  Well this set my ex off and he said goodbye and when I talked to him later it was the same old jealousy issues and my heart sunk.  So childish I can't dance with the waiter OMG have you ever or am I wrong? I have no intentions of seeing any men down here and he knows that.  I dont want to fall back into this and I told him that I can't so is it best to  ignore it or address it (which I believe I did but it is like talking to a brick wall) what do you think??
I know same old same people don't change their stripes.

[notrightinthehead]

I agree with you. People do not change easily, nor do they change quickly. Some people give themselves a time-out of at least a year after a difficult breakup.  This helps to get re-acquainted with oneself and experience how capable one is of sorting one's own problems.

[bohemian butterfly]

Please do not feel bad.  I also went back. I was in a similar boat, I bought a house and moved out, and was free!  But then I fell for the love bombing, (he came to my house crying with a 13 page letter that he had written in his hand) professing his utmost love, his deepest sins and I broke (mostly I remember feeling relieved of guilt?  Like I had committed a sin when I ended it). I also remember waking up the next morning feeling a pit in my stomach, and I remember hoping that it was just a bad dream, but then realizing I was back with him.  We honestly tried.  I honestly tried, but I had had too much therapy and was not the same person anymore. For our second round, I stayed with him from October 2019 until March 2021. We last spoke in March, and after not hearing from him for months I wrote a letter telling him it was over for good, he never replied. I am a different person now, it doesn't work because I'm a different person now.

You are not alone in wanting to give someone a second chance, especially after time has passed. Especially after a person has said that they have done some deep soul searching.  You wanted so badly to believe them, you remember the wonderful times and think that they have realized that you are worth it and they have seen the light, etc. etc. etc. How disappointing when the mask falls off again, how traumatizing for us.  Those old wounds, wounds that have partially recovered, still scabbed and in the process of healing when they come back with "band-aids" and we're revictimized and hurting all over again.

I am so sorry that this happened to you.