Just curious if there are any others out there

[verum71]

I dread having to go to events where my BPDx is going to be there.  I don't like being around her, and typically when I go to watch the kids at various things, I don't sit near my ex, which at some times (not all) can complicate things.  I keep most of our in-person communication to a bare minimum - the rest goes through OurFamilyWizard.   I have been divorced for over 10 years now and aI am still running into issues with co-parenting.  Anybody else in the same boat? 

[Associate of Daniel]

Yep. Yeah and yes.

My uNPD exH and I don't say a word to each other in person.  But he rages on the email.

His uNPD wife occasionally makes a scene in public, in front of ds (now 15).

She rages on email too.

The separation was nearly 10 years ago.  The divorce was final nearly 9 years ago.

I don't sit anywhere near them at events.  I arrive as the event starts and leave as soon as it finishes.  If the event is late starting I hide behind poles, corners etc, keeping them in my sight but hopefully being out of theirs.

Most of the time now I'm not anxious.  It's just a practise I have, to avoid ds having to witness a scene and to keep my mental health safe. 

I feel ridiculous doing it but it is to prioritise the mental and physical wellbeing of my son and myself.

Co parenting is impossible.  Parallell parenting is more effective.

My uNPD exH refused Family Wizard but thankfully sticks to email.

I've become quite expert at the B.I.F.F. method of communication, despite uNPD exH's continued rants.

AOD

[verum71]

Thanks for sharing!!  I don't want to have anything to do with either of them BPDx or her current husband, and it is for my own mental health.  I'm always wondering if that is hard for my daughter - I've never really said anything to her about why don't choose to sit by her at events.

[Associate of Daniel]

If your dd is like my ds, she probably prefers you to sit separately from her mum. It's the more comfortable of the 2 uncomfortable options.

Ds also has always kept the 2 households separate.  "This is what I do and who I see with mum.  This over here is what I do and who I see with dad."

It's been his way of dealing with the situation.

Our 2 households are like chalk and cheese though.

AOD