My next steps

[Prototypian]

I'm sitting here in the house on a weekend morning in shaking anxiety that they won't leave.   My spouse never leaves when she is supposed to meaning when she is expected to.   I think it's why she hates air travel; it means that she has to be somewhere on time and that means she has to leave us waiting to "load the dishwasher or organize our clothes" and she knows we won't do it under her instructions.   

But that's not the issue, that issue is always here.   Yesterday I was given a promotional and raise.   And the second home I'm renovating is now ready for the electrical services provider to hook up electricity.   My spouse knows this and is absolutely violently furiously angry and doesn't want to choose a electric company that "might be wrong".   Our state has hundreds of weird electric providers in deregulated environments but I just have to choose one and they will hook up the meter and the rest of the contactors will go.   I am so anxious, down, and full of fear and wishing they would just leave.    They fight and argue and yell and scream and I find myself just wishingnfor moments of peace.

I think this is what I will do:

Simply research today what the easiest service provider is for the 120 day temporary release of power and I'll get it out in so the other contractors can do their thing.

That's just what I'll do regardless of the explosion, hours of time she will spend comparing and reviewing whatever choice I made vs the rest and I'll just deal with the fallout.

I guess it's just one step at a time but every step is like a screaming border of banshees blocking the path up Mt everest except it's a volcano that's about to blow up.

Just venting.  I'm going to get an electrical provider and deal.

[square]

Does she know about the promotion and raise?

If not, can the additional pay be quietly funneled elsewhere?

[GentleSoul]

Glad you are venting, I hope it brings you some relief.

Can you work to leave this situation?  It sounds dangerous for your health and well being.

[JustKeepTrying]

From what you wrote the issue is her attempts to control.  Her leaving, the money, the electric company - it's all about control and manipulating the environment to her benefit.

And that is what is driving up your anxiety.

Select a company - i am sure you can change later if you desire - and move.  As soon as you can - you deserve to live in a place that is peaceful.

But my fear for you, even if you leave, how do you untangle the finances and live on your own without her demands?  Think it through so you can have a clean break.

I like the idea of hiding the promotion so you can channel the money until you find a more permanent solution.

[SonofThunder]

Congratulations on the promotion and raise Jsinjin!  Thats fantastic!! 

It sounds like you have a good handle on your next steps and like the others said, vent here anytime!  You are among understanding comrades as we hike the PD trail together. 😊

SoT

[Prototypian]

A few weeks ago my primary job gave me a major promotion and with it a raise and expanded compensation.   I have been able to siphon some of that off and today I paid for the electrical contract for the cottage I've been renovating.   They are installing the meter and the city has approved the initial temporary electric.   The electrician will then be able to test everything and hook things up in the home.   After that I'll have power for many tools and contractors to finish things out on the interior.  The HVAC is installed and just needs the power to install the outdoor unit.   And the fixtures and things are all in.  It's getting so close!

[JustKeepTrying]

jsinjin,

This is the best news!!!  Woohoo!!!

[SonofThunder]

A few weeks ago my primary job gave me a major promotion and with it a raise and expanded compensation.   I have been able to siphon some of that off and today I paid for the electrical contract for the cottage I've been renovating.   They are installing the meter and the city has approved the initial temporary electric.   The electrician will then be able to test everything and hook things up in the home.   After that I'll have power for many tools and contractors to finish things out on the interior.  The HVAC is installed and just needs the power to install the outdoor unit.   And the fixtures and things are all in.  It's getting so close!

Congratulations Jsinjin!   I look forward to reading about continued progress toward completion.

SoT

[Stillirise]

I just commented on the other post re your son. I just wanted to reiterate I'm so thrilled for all the positive changes happening in your life.  I've been following your story for awhile, and I realize what big, bold, tangible steps forward these are!