Dreaming about my NC parents

[Call Me Cordelia]

I've been going through a period of overall terrible sleep and hormonal weirdness. So perhaps it's just that but I've been dreaming almost nightly of my mother. Or else I'm living in my childhood home again, trying to make a meal in the kitchen. Once I was just there and said, "So we never actually dealt with the fact that we haven't spoken in years," and mother acted as if she didn't hear me. It's strange, for sure. Has this happened to anyone else? Most of the time I dream very little.

[Andeza]

Yes, it happens now and then. Usually it's the body recalling some unfinished business and laying it to rest, but the process can be confusing. Noting that you hadn't spoken in years, if that was in the dream, was your subconscious' way of saying that your mom would ignore the cause of the NC if you went back. Dreams are a good sign. They can mean you are continuing your forward healing journey as opposed to stagnating.

When there are other disturbances, these dreams become far more memorable, whereas under normal conditions they may have slipped through our sleeping minds without leaving their footprints on the currents of our lucid dreams.

[Starboard Song]

Yeah. We do that.

I dream of opportunities to speak my mind. My DW dreams that she finds extra hidden rooms in our house, full of their belongings, and she is frustrated in the dream that she has to clean up their stuff.

You're working it out.

[guitarman]

I dream and have nightmares about my uBPD/NPD sister. I haven't been in contact with her for over two years and I never want to see her ever again. If I did it would only be all the same. She wouldn't have changed. She won't ever change.

I don't know if I'll ever stop dreaming about her. I hope that some day I will. She's always in my thoughts.

The dreams and nightmares are my minds way of processing the decades of extreme trauma and abuse I witnessed and endured.

[moglow]

Heard, sister. I'm not nearly as far into it as you are, and look forward to the day she's locked out of my mind. A month into yet another round of no contact and so far my conscious mind just says No more. My subconscious is still working through all those things I never got to say, when she talked over me or twisted my words completely.

I wonder about your thought "...and mother acted as if she didn't hear me." Well, she didn't hear you, did she? Maybe you're still working through not being heard or acknowledged.

This too shall pass, as they tell me. It may pass like a kidney stone, but it'll pass. Wishing you mounds of peace and restful sleep!!

[blacksheep7]

I've had many dreams of my Foo since nc, even of my deceased NF.  Sometimes just speaking my mind, especially to NF who was the first to traumautize us, kids.

I've also had several, going back to the apartment complex we lived for 15 years where all the worst teenage and young adult abuse  happened to find out my Foo not living there anymore.

The latter to me means abandonment.

I dream a lot, too much to my liking, reliving pain and discomfort.  Many times, the people of my past, exs' too. 
It is part of the process. 

[Hilltop]

I tend to remember my dreams now when there is something happening that I need to process.  I really do believe there can be messages in our dreams, our subconscious giving us a tap on the shoulder that something needs to be addressed.

So in your dream your mother acted like she didn't hear you and you say, "So we never actually dealt with the fact that we haven't spoken in years,".

Deep down is there a part of you that struggles with the fact that you haven't spoken in years or that your mother won't even talk about why you haven't spoken to each other.  You say you are trying to make a meal, food is generally nourishment or love language.  Are you still processing that what you tried to nourish/love is being ignored?

[Call Me Cordelia]

Maybe. It’s strange with my mother as she and I didn’t really fight, and until shortly before NC I would have described my mother and me as reasonably close and my difficulty was with father. But she always 100% took my father’s side in everything, no matter how psychotic. In my own NC journey, my father was the one who scorched the earth and she was, as ever, passive.

[1footouttadefog]

I have read over the years that when you are dreaming about a topic your subconscious mind is working through some stuff.
.many times this will happen after a trama situation is passed and a person is not longer in flight or fright /survival mode and it's safe to process information and feelings again. 

[Call Me Cordelia]

Makes sense to me! I am sleeping better overall now but the dreams are still present.