Ruminating

[11JB68]

I found myself ruminating today over things long in the past.  I hate that.
The trigger was my best friend told me she is invited to ubpdm's memorial.  I posted a few months ago that updm had passed.  While I am very nonchalant about it outwardly it did trigger memories. I found myself wondering what will be said about updm (Saint of course) and possibly about me.  I find myself thinking back about what I should or could have said or done.
The whole thing makes me sad.
Friend was amazing though.  Very understanding and supportive and says she has learned a lot from me.... things like platitudes not being appropriate... and having to do what's necessary to protect one's mental health..

[notrightinthehead]

Yes, sad about what could and should have been. Your past is there for you to learn from. And recognition and appreciation in the present from your friend. I hope you felt well and happy with yourself after that positive feedback.

[NarcKiddo]

I'm glad you have a good friend. Ruminating is a difficult one imho - it can bring new insights or it can just be distressing.