Took a baby step today

[GravityOfBeauty]

Patiently crawling toward healing and freedom.

I finally felt ready to share what has been going on in my life (uBPDw) with my closest, lifelong friend. I'm honestly ashamed that I kept it from him for so long but I wanted to be sure. It's been eight months since the day T stated during our session, "what you're describing -- that's abuse" and it snowballed into BPD from there.

My friend took it in stride, offered support, and perhaps the most eye opening statement "it doesn't totally surprise me." Thank goodness my life doesn't look so normal from the outside after all. Our conversation was liberating and I hope it will give me courage to take the next steps in my journey of healing.

[Happiness_3]

Wow. That's beautiful, and I think we tend to normalise abuse to the extent where it seems to us like it has never been THAT dramatic of a deal. It's always somehow justifiable, but the words of a friend, reassuring and kind - they're so welcome. Congratulations on the step, I hope soon someday I can also speak openly of my abuse to my close friends. 

[1footouttadefog]

Lots of steps make a journey.  Congrats on a start.

[Associate of Daniel]

Actually, I think that's a huge step, rather than a baby one.  Well done!

AOD

[falsebalance2]

Actually, I think that's a huge step, rather than a baby one.  Well done!

AOD

That was my first MAJOR step and it all feels rather quick now.

Telling people in my experience has made it better when I start to gas light myself thanks to all the 'training' I have had.

Now the cat is out of the bag and friends want to support me in any way I need.

Now I know I have a suppport network and that was step one of my abuser losing control! He has no idea he went a bridge too far. He has an idea something is off and different - but he is so arrogant he really believes he is going to rock me back to sleep or threaten me back to submission.

Good for you AoD!!

[GravityOfBeauty]

Wow. That's beautiful, and I think we tend to normalise abuse to the extent where it seems to us like it has never been THAT dramatic of a deal. It's always somehow justifiable, but the words of a friend, reassuring and kind - they're so welcome.

you are spot on and I can relate because I still go through daily doubt cycles especially during weeks when there are no big blowups, so to speak.

GoB,
Congratulations, that is huge! I'm so glad for you that your friend is so supportive. Definitely don't take this for granted...it's a huge thing, and something you should thank him for (I'm sure you already have). I have had one friend who had a similar reaction to you, but another who responded with typical naive marriage advice, like "all relationships have problems" and "surely you'd never consider divorce" and "maybe you just aren't loving her enough." Needless to say I never talked to him about it again. But my first friend, we talk about it every day and it's hugely beneficial.
Having a support network is so, so critical, and you'll find that being able to go to that friend makes a world of difference.
I wish you all the best!

I'm so sorry to hear someone who you were vulnerable with responded in such an insensitive way, that is painful and I can imagine it could contribute to lurking disillusionment. Even on a basic human interaction level it was brash of your friend to offer such ignorant advice. I'm glad to hear you had a positive experience with your other friend, I hope it deepens your friendship. The friend whom I mentioned doesn't ask many questions, so I've learned that I must state my need to share and he'll happily oblige (I just can't expect an invitation). This will take some continual courage on my part but my hope is that it will foster healing, little by little.