Gaslighting

[escapingman]

uNPDstbxw is currently doing an extreme version of gaslighting, and it is really doing my head in.

- I walk through the kitchen
She asks me to stop stomping

- I close a door
She asks me to stop slamming the door

- I reply to her shouting at me
She asks me to stop shouting

- She jumps up and down making an illusion I am a monkey
She deny it ever happened

- She ask me to reconsider divorcing her, I reply no
She asks me again and again and again pretending I didn't say no

- She shouts at me and I react
She tell me to stop being angry

I could probably keep adding to the list forever, but this is exhausting.

[SonofThunder]

uNPDstbxw is currently doing an extreme version of gaslighting, and it is really doing my head in.

- I walk through the kitchen
She asks me to stop stomping

- I close a door
She asks me to stop slamming the door

- I reply to her shouting at me
She asks me to stop shouting

- She jumps up and down making an illusion I am a monkey
She deny it ever happened

- She ask me to reconsider divorcing her, I reply no
She asks me again and again and again pretending I didn't say no

- She shouts at me and I react
She tell me to stop being angry

I could probably keep adding to the list forever, but this is exhausting.

When in the home just prior to my leaving, my stbx got tired of my ears behind my Bose over-ear, noise cancelling headphones.  If you are going to remain in the home, it may be the best couple hundred Euro you ever spent.  I simply refer to them (to myself) as my "quiet best friend". 

Plus, I suggest also to make no-JADE your trusty 24/7 companion. 😉

SoT

[escapingman]

I have the headphones, actually 2 pairs (QC25 and QC35) - but I don't use them enough. Maybe it's time to use them all the time and not only during meetings. Thanks for the advice.

Regarding the no-Jade, I do this 99% of the time but during her last episode over the last couple of days I have faltered a couple of times. But as said in the other thread, I need out for peace to come.

[SonofThunder]

I have the headphones, actually 2 pairs (QC25 and QC35) - but I don't use them enough. Maybe it's time to use them all the time and not only during meetings. Thanks for the advice.

Regarding the no-Jade, I do this 99% of the time but during her last episode over the last couple of days I have faltered a couple of times. But as said in the other thread, I need out for peace to come.

+1 

The 35's are by 'best friend'.  They are also a very real visual boundary that must come off to be heard. It puts all the control of 'hearing' on you and away from your stbx.

Consider investing in the sanity of your children as well, and buying two additional pair, as a gift to each child.  They may need a silent best friend as well. 

SoT