BPD roommate

[didntsignupforthis]

Hi all,

I came across this site awhile ago, but kept hoping the situation with my BPD roommate would just resolve or get better, and I was afraid my laptop might be monitored, so I didn't create an account. I eventually moved to get away from her, but she's still causing chaos in my life, so here I am seeking support from others who've had similar experiences.

Several of my relationships have been damaged and continue to be damaged by her false accusations about me. I've struggled to job search because I was afraid to leave the house at predictable times, and I couldn't work from home because I never knew when she'd next harass me from outside my bedroom door. I've lost money on extra rent and utility costs because of her, and had to move to a place with higher rent. She refused to leave my old apartment when I moved, and also refused to pay the rent, so I may be facing legal costs associated with that.

The worst is her relentless harassment, mostly in the form of falsely accusing me, usually of things she'd been doing to me. I tried just ignoring her, starving her of attention and validation of her behavior. I haven't spoken to her in months and when we lived together I hid in my bedroom whenever she was home. She called the police on me at least 3 times with absurd accusations, which the cops seemed to understand, and I just learned that she had done so to justify filing a restraining order against me. She never served me with the restraining order (at least not yet), but now it's public record.

I've been trying so hard to avoid any interaction with her or to avoid doing anything to trigger her, hoping she'd eventually stop obsessing over me and move on to her next target. But it's getting to a point that I may end up in court having to defend myself, even though she's the one doing the harassing. I'm emotionally exhausted and worried about how much more damage she can cause.

[xredshoesx]

welcome to the group

i'm so sorry you have been put in this position with a former roommate.  from what you shared you may need to contact someone for legal advice in addition to seeking support here for the emotional toll this has taken on you.   what kind of rental agreement did you all have?  is it in writing? 

when you are ready to share more we are listening

[bloomie]

didntsignupforthis - hi there and welcome to Out of the FOG. I am glad you are in a position to join the community and are physically away from your ex roommate.

I am so sorry you are facing such intense pressure, stalking, and a smear campaign that will not end! It is very hard to hold up under all of this and I am glad you have reached out for support.

We cannot help you with the legal aspects of this other than to say seek wise legal counsel and DOCUMENT every single thing, but we can and will support you emotionally as you heal and process the harm this relationship has brought to your life.

I look forward to seeing you out on the forum boards and send you strength and much wisdom in the coming days.

[didntsignupforthis]

Thank you, xredshoesx and bloomie. I've been afraid to reply here these past couple of weeks in case my ex-roommate saw this. She never served me with her bogus restraining order against me, and she didn't show up to court for the hearing, so the restraining order is dismissed and I can breathe a little (just a little) easier. I'll start messaging in the forums.