After the funerals.... x3

[SunnyMeadow]

Thanks for the new board. I could have used it months ago but instead I filled up a bunch of space in the Elderly Parents board.  Everyone was so kind and helpful, I know this board will be the same.

So my uNPD mother died beginning of April, then her husband/my stepdad died 3 weeks later AND NOW, my perfectly normal father-in-law died over the weekend.  Enough is enough!

I'm still feeling quite ok and emotionless after she died but my step dad and FIL are a different story. My mother would flip her lid if she knew this was the case. She figured there would be big gatherings and many tears for her. Not the case but who could expect anything different when dealing with a NPD mother? Still feeling relief and no hitting a wall of grief for her. 

[Starboard Song]

I am glad for you that you hit no wall related to her.

What a terrible year of loss and passing. It may be of some comfort to reflect on the difference: your heart knows full well how to grieve for the loss of kind and loving people. It not doing so for a person incapable of reliably loving is not a bug, but a feature.

I think a good bit lately about the eventual passing of my MIL, and how it will go and what forces it will generate.

It sounds like you are navigating it all with grace. I repeat my condolences for your very real losses: all of them. Even the ones that really happened many years ago.

[SunnyMeadow]

Thank you Starboard Song. You always say such nice things and give good advice. I've thought over your words long after I've read them. I appreciate you.

[Pepin]

Thanks for the new board. I could have used it months ago but instead I filled up a bunch of space in the Elderly Parents board.  Everyone was so kind and helpful, I know this board will be the same.

Same - I was actually contemplating deactivating my account because I thought I was *free* at last.  And then I started writing in places on this forum where I normally wouldn't have had much to say...because the dynamic of the situation had changed with her passing. 

I've been a bit "emotionless" with DH about CN MIL's passing because I'm watching him for cues.  In my head however, it is a different story. 

[bloomie]

Count me in as another that has high hopes for this board and the support and processing it will offer us. Thank you to Starboard Song who spearheaded the entire addition!!

SunnyMeadow... wow, that is a lot of loss in a short period of time. My heart goes out to you!

I have shared this before here on other boards, but I have heard it said that when a loved on passes on at the graveside there are the grieved and the relieved. I would have to say that when my own uPD parents passed away very close in time to one another, I eventually felt both. At first, a great deal of relief for a lot of reasons and then in time some pretty intense moments of grief and sadness for the potential of their lives that was never realized and the huge wake of damage they left in my life and the lives of my sibs.

Whatever we feel or do not feel... it is so good to have each other to walk through this with.

Pepin, I'm really glad you stayed!

[Hazel Eyes]

Thanks for the new board. I could have used it months ago but instead, I filled up a bunch of space in the Elderly Parents board. 

Same here. I also have high hopes for this board, and I feel that it is a great addition to this forum. I lost my Cluster B nightmare of a father back in August 2021. And I do not miss him at all. All my grieving happened when he was alive. By the time he was gone, I had nothing left to grieve. In fact, I was relieved. And so were my siblings. None of us had a good relationship with him. The man was an evil nightmare.

[Hazel Eyes]

Deleted this double post. I am not sure how that happened.

[moglow]

Sunny, I have no words. Your whole world sounds flipped upside down. That's indeed a lot to deal with in such a short time.  How are you??

[SunnyMeadow]

Sunny, I have no words. Your whole world sounds flipped upside down. That's indeed a lot to deal with in such a short time.  How are you??

I'm feeling ok really. All these parents were in their mid to late 80's so I expected it naturally but just not in 1½ months! My husband is having a tough time with the loss of his dad so it's just another sad layer to all this. 

A dear friend has been giving us Sympathy cards with each death and she said to me.... I had to go to the store again for another card. I didn't know I'd have to buy in bulk after your mother died! 

Dh and I hope this is it for a good, long time.

[Seven]

Sunny, my lord that's a lot in such a little time.

I hope you can get some peace and calm soon.