Nothing has really changed!!!

[Dodo]

I got back together with my ex ... everything has been wonderful for months, he has been helping me with all kinds of projects around the house, we spend weekends together and that seems to have been working! I spent all of March in Mexico with my sister in law and a friend, my SIL and I were fighting  and I was pissed at her for drinking so much and making a few scenes, well of course I turned to my ex to complain about her and on coping with her on the trip. He has always disliked her anyway and there has been a push pull always! I know why and I have agreed with a lot of his beefs about her but he seems to take it to a whole other level of dislike!  MY SIL and my relationship has changed a lot since the trip and I've decided sharing too much information with her may not be a good idea so I have pledged to put my boyfriend first and keep her at arms length so to speak!
The reason my ex and I got back together is he admitted to a lot of his shitty behaviour to me and said he has changed ... which I personally was surprised that he was actually so much better!  Well today I called my SIL to tell her a few things and he reacted in a way that was so irritating to me. He said "so did you report in to Rhonda"? and then texted well it looks like nothing has changed!!! God I find that irritating and insulting.  I told him not to tell me who I can talk to and who I can't talk to! So we are on the outs again....same old problems, his hatred for my SIL and also his not doing any activities and or little outing that are out of his immediate comfort zone (which he promised he would try to do) will also be a problem because he promised to try and I promised not to bug him, but its hard as I bring up something and he goes into a eyeball and whine about me acting like I use to ... OMG

Thinking how am I going to cope with this, the reasons above were why I broke up with him in the first place, help me tell him that his reactions to SIL just make our relationship hard and he makes me feel like I am some kind of idiot and fool for even speaking to her!!!! 

[notrightinthehead]

Welcome back! I cannot even count the number of times I believed my husband had changed only to find out that he hadn't! People don't change in a few months. They can behave differently for a while but then go back to their established ways. Only if the behaviour is consistently different for a year or longer can you say that someone has changed.
It might be wise of you to consider that you can only change yourself. That no matter how many times you tell another person that you want them to do X or stop Z, they will do what they do. You can, however,  decide what you are going to do if they do what they do. Will you complain and take it? Will you leave? Will you cry? Will you feel bitter about the disappointed expectations? Will you stop trying to turn someone into somebody they are not and find yourself a more suitable match?
Your decision! Fortunately every day we wake up to another opportunity to learn and grow.

[falsebalance2]

I'm sorry, Dodo.

From everything I have read - it is common to go back many times.

While I've never physically packed my bags and left - I've been extremely close and moved into other parts of the house (Or he left for days at a time and I wish I would have told him to stay gone) and then pulled back in by promises to change many times.

Looking back - Each time did come with a list of things *I* was expected to change as well - whether these were stated or a covert contract. In the FOG - I tried to meet all of the demands for change and held up my end of the deal but he has not once held up his nor seem to have even attempted.

Sounds like your ex had some changes he expected as well that aren't healthy for you.

Not Right In The Head has good advice

[Dodo]

This is the text he sent me last night.  I still feel like its just not ok but he seems to always try and drive home his point.

"This is not going to work unless you stop reporting and chasing ______.. now its _____.... Then you had the nerve to mention _____(his daughter) after we agreed never to involve immediate family in our disagreements!!"

I'm trying not to respond to this crap but it's hard, I am a lot calmer than I use to be with him as it is fruitless to argue!

Thank you for your responses it does help me a lot and I do agree with it.