Advancing forward

[StartingHealing]

Hello y'all,

Mods, if this is in the wrong place please move to an area that is most appropriate.

Wanted to share some of the things that I have been going through in my journey towards healing.   

First off is grief.  Oh mercy the amount of grief that I am going through,  the damnedest thing is that it appears that the grief is over aspects that never were.  The should have beens, the hope against hope,  the whitewashing of prior events.. etc. etc.  the realization that "I" haven't been operating in way for my own best self interest.

I also realized, after much internal struggle,  that I had been deceived by her PD.  This one was tough.  Crazy intense.   The mirroring, the love bombing, (at the beginning) and then the machinations after.  Being able to see what actually is and not view the situation through any type of "googles".                                     Hard, so damn hard. 

I have a collection of quotes that I have gathered that have helped me change my viewpoint.  Because we have to see and accept the situation as it is, so we can then take steps to help ourselves.  You know?  The quotes are no BS, straight talk.  a Thank you to Jocko. 

Here is some of the quotes:   

They are not what you thought they were.

The person you pieced together in your head doesn't exist.

You fell in love with the fantasy you built in your mind.  The bones of it may have been reality at one time, but you built a fantasy on top of it.  That is what you fell in love with.

She never was that, it was a lie, that person that you put together in your head, that you have assembled in your mind, that person doesn't exist.

Stop building fantasies.  See people as they are and take appropriate steps.  It's much easier in the long run.

If it's over, then it's over.  Look back and see where the mistakes were made on your part.  Don't repeat those mistakes.

I'm also finding that I need to forgive myself for allowing her to hurt me.  And to take steps to boost my self trust.  If you think about it, after a deception, it's normal to have your self confidence messed up.

I hope that this helps someone.

Peace.

[JustKeepTrying]

 

I print them off and paper my apartment with them.