They're ALWAYS in the kitchen!

[mary_poppins]

Hi all.

For those who live with their PD parents, how do you manage to avoid them in the kitchen? I say I avoid them 75% of the cases and it's been going great. However, one thing that bothers me truly is how little time I have for myself in the kitchen. Mine are obsessed with cooking and they literary spend their entire day there.

One of them works and the other doesn't. However, it used to be that none of them worked and they woukd turn the kitchen into a social place. They were cooped up in there from morning to evening (with a break in the afternoon).

I am thinking that they do this because food and cooking is all they have. They are pretty good cooks, I have to admit. Also, they use food to medicate their own issues, as you can imagine. But come on, staying there for an entire day every day?

Are mine weird that way or is anyone here having the same problem?

The reason I started this post is to see if anyone has any tips on how to avoid these people AND, in the same time cook food so I can eat and survive. I can't afford to eat out or buy take out. If that was the case, I'd never be in that awful kitchen of theirs.

Also, the reason I try to avoid them in the kitchen is because they become extremely controlling and abusive in there. It's like whenever I am there they start giving me orders on HOW to cook my own food and how I should use their cooking utensils (as if there is a certain way, ha ha).

Also, they take advantage of the fact that I NEED to cook so they can come in there and get some needed N supply. Narc mother does this so often.

Example, I come in the kitchen after coming home. She hears me from her room and burst in there and starts asking me about my private life. Lol. All of a sudden, without any kind of ice breakers. I wish I'd just eat once a day in the early morning and start practicing intermittent fasting. That would solve 99% of my problems.

[Cat of the Canals]

My parents are foodies so yes. Sooooo much kitchen/food drama.

ENdad cooks a lot and PDmom is always making little suggestions (more like orders). There are a lot of dishes he loves but never makes because if PDmom doesn't like it, she pouts. She will invite a bunch of people over and expect my dad to do most of the cooking and quite literally treats him like hired help. (She's very gracious in front of the guests but orders him around behind the scenes and makes weird passive-aggressive comments like "Are we not doing salad?")

Meanwhile, if she's cooking anything at any time, and he tries to make a suggestion or help, she has a total fit. On a recent phone call, she interrupted her own monologue to scream at him for touching some salmon she had marinating. I imagine he was simply trying to help since she was busy talking on the phone, but she acted like he was trying to sabotage her or something. Extra weird since he was going to be the one actually cooking the salmon. But god forbid he touch it before she gives him the go ahead.

As for tips... can you cook large amounts of things like soup, casseroles, etc. that you can portion out over several days and only need to be in the kitchen for reheating? And to limit the time spent cooking, perhaps a crockpot/pressure cooker?

[Spring Butterfly]

There was a time we were in the same house for extended weeks at time and I experienced the same thing. I did my own food shopping and kept items in my room that were shelf stable. Things like tuna and little mayo packets which can be ordered online if you can't find them in a local store. Some spices, salt and pepper. Melba toast and a small loaf of bread. Protein bars or powder for breakfast.

Other times if the kitchen was empty I'd grab something from the fridge. Other times I'd buy fresh greens and such enough for a day or two. We ate dinner as a family so I had at least one solid meal. Setup your room like a dorm room with a little fridge and microwave to steam veggies would be even better.

[mary_poppins]

Thanks, guys for your advice. Cat of the Canals, I did what you said and it worked. I just need to have more discipline. Spring Butterfly, I think I'll do your thing from now. I've never carried cans in my room or any type of food. It reminds me of when I was living in a dorm room with 5 girls It was kind of fun, though.

Update-waking up today and going to the kicthen to cook was a big mistake. PD mom came in and started blaming me for something she did. 
I think she wakes up with the thought of getting narc supply ASAP and if there's someone in the house, she'll take advantage of it. She is really that type of highly addicted PD that has trouble spending even 5 minutes alone. Creepy.

Anyway, it's 2 steps forward and 1 step back. Learning new things take time, right? Anyway, this planning is only temporary until I move out.

Thanks again.

[Spring Butterfly]

Learning, yes! Cooking is risky unless they're out of the house. Earbuds help: "sorry catching up on reading / study, can't talk, gotta get this done and boogie on out of here, hey have a great day"

Having an exit plan is great! Light at the end of the tunnel. In the meantime, your little space in your room is your sanctuary.