Daughter decides to leave

[verum71]

I have been posting since March about some concerns that I have with my 15 y/o daughter and the fact that she is wanting to live with my BPDx.  I came home from a conference today and was planning on picking her up when my flight got back in.  Last week, I had talked with her about meeting with a counselor to talk about some concerns that I had about her being distant and trying to work together to have better lines of communication.  She said she was open to this moving forward and I called to try and get this scheduled before I left last week to a conference.  When I got back today and was planning on picking her up for my parenting time, she said that "I want to stay here (BPDx's place) until we can meet with a counselor to discuss some things I (daughter) want to talk to you about".  She wouldn't give me any ideas about what her concerns were and there doesn't seem to be any rush to to this either.  I can't sleep - this is really tearing me up inside.  I have worked my ass off to be a dad that is present and involved, and a big part of who she is today stems from the relationship her and I have had over the years.  I want to scream from the mountaintops that none of this - any of it - makes any sense. 

[Penny Lane]

I am so so sorry. This is so hard and unfair.

No advice, just hugs and the hope you can work it out.

[verum71]

Thanks - I have an excellent support network which is very helpful.  I guess for now I will have to hurry up and wait

[notrightinthehead]

15 is a difficult age. I found myself often clueless and dumbfounded when mine were that age. Patience and serenity as well as reminding myself frequently that I truly love my teenager helped me.  Big hug!

[verum71]

Thanks!  I always seem to think that it is just me receiving this treatment.  Spoke to her older brother yesterday and he mentioned that his sister has treated him i a very similar fashion - short answers, "sorry busy I have to go" etc.  My BPDx does not all me often (all of our communication goes through Our Family Wizard) but she did call me a week or 2 to tell me about an argument she was having with our daughter about her decision to go to a July 4th party, so it sounds like my 15 y/o is spreading the wealth around. 

[Kat54]

They will do that... spread the wealth. 15 is a tough age and however you are being treated, it's hard to fathom and understand.
They like putting parents through the ringer.