Being in the Spotlight/Accepting Compliments by Kris Godinez

[bee well]

Kris Godinez has recently done a video called "Being in the Spotlight/Accepting Compliments." It's related to some themes we have been talking  about in the forum For example: "the look" or "the gaze" (and by extension, shame), social anxiety, and "fleas." Some of you reading might find it interesting and/or useful. Here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWIxEmZr1f8

[xredshoesx]

i'll have to check this out-  20+ years into recovery and i still hate to be acknowledged or called out- even for *good* things.

[Rosa Rugosa]

i'll have to check this out-  20+ years into recovery and i still hate to be acknowledged or called out- even for *good* things.

I'm not 20 years in but I hate this too. Most of my compliments are plant related, I always responded with how the plant grew itself not me. I cant take credit for keeping them alive in pots, propagating, any of my work. I defer to their genetics and the wonders of natural evolution. I'm trying to get into a habit of just saying 'thank you'. I'm sure people would rather hear that than a lecture on botany. 

Thanks for posting the link Bee Well, I've been meaning to check out Kris Godinez's channel, this seems like a good place to start.

[bee well]

Hi All, A lot of us seem to have that thing of getting a little smaller when compliments come our way....I thought it was interesting how she talked about the "spotlight effect" as being a flea...in that it is egocentric when we are in social situations and are feeling unconfortable and that "people "are looking at us." Unfortunately there are people who do use looks to intimidate. The challenge is to, whenever possibile, just keep it moving and go about our business.

Your replies also reminded me to be mindful of how people receive attention/compliments, in that if they seem uncomfortable with it or don't respond, it might be a good idea to just smile and continue on with the conversation. (I've noticed there are some  well-meaning people who insist when shy people are not open aaobut accepting compliments or other "good" information.