The First

[Seven]

This day would've been my uNPDm 92nd bday.  The first one since her passing. Was talking to my son about his upcoming home purchase. He asked me "are you okay today?"  I said "what, about it being her bday?  Yeah, I'm good.  I got nothing.  And I guess I should feel bad that I don't feel guilty about feeling nothing.  But I really got nothing"

Now, all of the firsts without my dad....those were painful. Even the seconds and thirds.  But uNPDm?

I got nada.

[bloomie]

Seven - it's good to hear you do not feel guilt for not having an emotional reaction to your mother's bday. And that you have a son who cares and asked how you are doing is quite a blessing.

[Srcyu]

I also feel nothing. I still grieve for my dad after twenty odd years but her - not a thing.
There have been no tears, guilt, regret, absolutely nothing.

It's the reward I guess, for having a mother that ignored, bullied or shamed whenever it suited her best.
Enjoy the peace, we deserve it.