On the Path of Letting The Ns Go

[Rec]

Hi,

You can call me Rec or whatever you can gather from the username.

I'm here because an online friend, whom I met through Reddit, threw me a, "Huh? I thought we met in the narcissistic subreddit. Your mother sounds like a narcissist." So my journey of comprehending how self-preoccupied my mother is--and how much my powerless, emotionless father is an enabler--began.

I don't know what else to write. At the moment, I'm very hurt and traumatised, because recently my younger brother, whom I assumed is either having some sort of mental challenges (he was sent to tons of mental health professional and they all just said that he's "lazy", but we're living in a developing Asian nation, so I don't necessarily expect much), was confronted by someone from whom he stole thing and money from. I practically had to handle the situation as the only woman present and I'm so, so sick and tired for doing this for about twenty years already while my Nmother continues to enable him (the Efather is just there, I don't think he can do much or more).

Some subreddits are helpful, but I want to go deeper into this world of recovery, while I also building a boundary wall towards my unhealthy family members, because once I leave (again), I think I will abandon them for good. I'm so done and tired of keep burning and sacrificing myself for others. My Nmother might likes doing it because it fulfils her persona and distance her from her own trauma, but I can't, don't wanna, and won't be her.

[bloomie]

Hi Rec. Adding a warm welcome to you. I am thankful you found us as you focus on your own healing journey! Make good use of the resources, book recommendations, and other online resources that members have found helpful. And when you are ready, join the conversations taking place on the forum boards!

[Rec]

Rec,

Welcome! I'm glad you discovered this community...I agree, there is a level of depth here that one can't always find on subreddits. I found the narcissist subreddit triggering and confusing, this has been a much safer place.

A couple places to start:

Thank you so much, user!

Yes, I've seen some comments/posts being removed, genuine comment being downvoted, and overall feeling rather unsafe in there. I usually reason with, "Well, it's Reddit..." but it's not always healthy to excusing others, especially since I have done it for ages for my unhealthy family members.

Thank you so much for the links! I've read some of the tools and I can't wait to explore and discuss in the subforum. <3

[Rec]

Hi Rec. Adding a warm welcome to you. I am thankful you found us as you focus on your own healing journey! Make good use of the resources, book recommendations, and other online resources that members have found helpful. And when you are ready, join the conversations taking place on the forum boards!

Thank you very much, bloomie. <3

I'm currently reading several books on recovering, but I'm always open to more resource.

I need all hands on deck for this recovery journey! I'm going to give myself my best (after giving my best externally and for others for ages).

It'll probably take sometime until I get used to the forum, but I'm eager to learn. I need the support until I can gain my independence once more and hopefully permanentely.

Thanks again!