I think she's evil. How do I get harassment to stop from an evil person

[RiverPurl]

How do I get the harassment to stop

I got recent contact from my estranged sibling who I suspect has a personality disorder of some sort based on her angry personality. The new communication was mail in the post.  This is just one is many attempts to contact me and shame me. Since November, I got messages from a fake profile that was hers and I blocked her. She went straight to my employer and then when she was ignored sent her a friend request and now there was mail in the post.

This is just a small list in a long list of harassment from years.

She fell out with others in the family.  Its her personality.  She's easily offended and carries angers and hurts with her and holds onto everything no matter how minor and she's spiteful and revengful.  Having a sibling relationship with her is impossible. One by one we all stepped back from her.

There was a family funeral a few years ago. About 6 years ago and we were on good terms together then but within a mknth, she started blowing up to us all. For me, I had to step back because I couldn't fix this.

For this recent round of harassment.  I think she's buying into all of the media and marketing about Christmas and she's feeling hurt about Christmas and not having family.  Instead of owning her own part in any of the downfall she is slapping 100% of blame back onto me and the rest of the family.  She is hurt and she wants to hurt me. Basically she's going to try to make sure nobody is going to have a joyful Christmas. I don't know what her goal is to be honest. This is what I think it is.

This is only just a small percentage of the harassment that she carried out over the years.

Any time her messages filter through, there's a lot of demands to focus on our fall out row and her messages usually include unwritten threats.  It's impossible to try and sort anything with her. I tried before and she led me around in circles and started sending dirty accusations and I walked away from that.

It does appear as if she wants me to engage with her. I tired before and it really didn't help. I can't fix this between us.

I took this issue to the police who refused to help me and our family.  Our family was getting abusive harassment from her too.  The police were not interested.
I took this to lawyers. I got no help because I didn't have funds for an injunction against her and the lawyer said sending a cease and desist letter might just fuel her anger against me and make her worse and without me having the funds for an injunction, I am in a vulnerable position. The advice was to go back to the police.

I was never able to get this to stop legally.  Getting her to stop on a private level is also impossible. She would only laugh if I was to ask her to stop.

Lately I am think about, anytime I get communications from her, I start showing it to all and Sundry.  We have a few brothers. She fell out with most of them except for 1 because he is so soft. He always believed that someone should stay in contact with her.  Lately I am thinking if there's any communications from her, that I send it to him.  Or we have an aunt in common that she is fond of.  If the extend family was to know even half of the abusive harassment that she is carrying out, they would be appalled and I am thinking maybe would it be enough to get her to stop what she's doing. Shaming her into stopping. Grey rocking her for years hasn't helped this by the way. She still has a lot of focus on me and the family.  If we did something awful to her, you would understand the trauma that she's going through but this was just ordinary life things that she is offended by.  With me, we are sisters and like any sisters we didn't always see eye to eye.  She managed to take up rows from our youth during these years of estrangement and lash back old rows that had nothing to do with us falling out together. How can anything be fixed like that?

I remember last winter, there was another fake profile and more messages from her.  About 12 years ago, I used to rent an apartment. It was only for about 2 years or so. She started zoning in on that rental apartment and started calling it a brotel. It was never a brotel by the way but that was sher insult. That place had nothing to do with us falling out together. That rental place was just a small tiny piece of my past but nothing bad happened there. I found out from a local online forum that at the time (last winter) she was going through her own accommodation crisis so her anger and focus was on me and the rental that I had all them years ago.  I found out she had difficulties renting with others and she needs her own place but she was worried about the costs involved. So she was going through her own crisis and she decided to slap it back onto me by calling an old rental of mine a brotel.  There does seem to be an envy involved with her. Because she's now in a place where she wants her own place, she was zoning in on that particular aspect that I had before. 

She's evil.

[moglow]

I wish I knew of something to help you, I'm guessing law enforcement has no voice/authority unless there is documented threat and/or indicators of bodily harm, The rantings of what's clearly an unstable individual is unfortunately a regular part of their days and the lines between implied and real threats are heavily blurred. To me an injunction only feeds her insistence on attention - you'd still have the enforcement part to deal with, repeated attempts to report and pursue. Would that stop her? I'd venture a guess not.

All I know is to shut down any attempts at contact from her as much as possible on your end, not respond no matter how provocative, and to avoid her entirely and at all costs. It sounds pathetic of me, I'm sure but i don't understand that level of mental dysfunction or what she possibly gains from it.

[RiverPurl]

I wish I knew of something to help you, I'm guessing law enforcement has no voice/authority unless there is documented threat and/or indicators of bodily harm, The rantings of what's clearly an unstable individual is unfortunately a regular part of their days and the lines between implied and real threats are heavily blurred. To me an injunction only feeds her insistence on attention - you'd still have the enforcement part to deal with, repeated attempts to report and pursue. Would that stop her? I'd venture a guess not.

All I know is to shut down any attempts at contact from her as much as possible on your end, not respond no matter how provocative, and to avoid her entirely and at all costs. It sounds pathetic of me, I'm sure but i don't understand that level of mental dysfunction or what she possibly gains from it.

I think you are right about the injunction.  I think she would be happy and all too delighted to drag the situation in front of a judge to try and shame me. I think if it was anyone else threatened with legal action, they would take it seriously but I think with her, she would enjoy it.

She was sending abusive messages back in 2015 and 2016 but it wasn't half as bad as the way she turned out. I ignored them.   She really started kicking off in the spring time of 2017. She was at her worst in 2018. I and the family hasn't spent any physical presence with her since winter of 2016 at a funeral and we were on good terms together at that time. We were all able to park the past behind us. I was hopeful at that time for going forward but within a month she became offended over nonsense once more and started lashing out.  Shes been demanding for answers ever since and twisted everything and done so much hurt and damage. I was ignoring her attempts for years but she's still going strong.

[Srcyu]

I'm so sorry. Small parts of your post stand out for me. The bits referring to envy and evil.
These mothers are most definitely envious of just about everything. We lived in a flat/apartment once. It was quite nice. Turned out she wanted to swop her awful old house for our smart flat. Quite mad really.
Keep on blanking her, it's all you can realistically do I think.
She has nothing better to do.
Keep shining your Light, I can see it glowing from here.

[RiverPurl]

I'm so sorry. Small parts of your post stand out for me. The bits referring to envy and evil.
These mothers are most definitely envious of just about everything. We lived in a flat/apartment once. It was quite nice. Turned out she wanted to swop her awful old house for our smart flat. Quite mad really.
Keep on blanking her, it's all you can realistically do I think.
She has nothing better to do.
Keep shining your Light, I can see it glowing from here.

I wasn't talking about my mother. It's a sibling of mine who is estranged.  I suppose your advice still stands of keep on ignoring her.

I've been ignoring her for years. The last time I had anything to say to her was back in the spring of 2018 when I decided to work through her message bombs and engage with her messages and I was being mindful that she's feeling hurt and I was polite and respectful. Even during that, I took on a lot of blame from her and by right I really shouldn't have. It wasn't enough for her. She led me around in circles and claimed something vulgar and started sexualising her breasts to me. I just stopped and blanked her from there on in. I wasn't able to fix this.

[RiverPurl]

This is so hard. It seems to me as if she wants some sort of a reconciliation but she's not coming out with those words and she's not asking for that and it's all coming out wrong with insults and threats and everything else.   She's just an impossible person.  I can't fix another person and their anger.

Or maybe she doesn't want a reconciliation at all and it's just attention she's looking for. Maybe she wants me just to engage with her so that she can demean me.  I don't know.  I remember we worked together about 18 years ago. I remember something from back then. My sister was chatting to another lady but another lady chimed in and made a joke but my sister didn't like it.  That lady realised that she wasn't happy and she apologised for the joke she made but my sister ignored her apology.  My sister made that woman's working life in that place hell with silent and passive aggressive silent treatment and intimidation. At the time my sister would look at others blankly and claim she was doing nothing wrong but it was passive aggressive silent bullying. My sister was a bully to her and there were other people there too that my sister took offence easily too.
Maybe she's doing this to me to simply degrade and humiliate me.  Maybe her sources of bullying ran dry and she finally turned inwards to her family.  I don't know.

[Srcyu]

No, I don't think she can be fixed. (Forgive me for getting the relationship wrong.)
She sounds like a draining source of bad intent. Maybe she can only validate herself when she's attempting to ruin the esteem of other people. That brings us back to envy again.

[moglow]

Maybe her sources of bullying ran dry and she finally turned inwards to her family.

YOu may have something there - mommie dearest did/does that. She'll cycle through and burn people down then go quiet for a while, slowly sneak back out weeks or even months later. I don't know if she actually realized she'd gone too far, if people backed away from her or if it was like a pressure cooker that built up until explode was her chosen option. She'd eventually come back around and wonder why I was quiet or had nothing to say, she'd cooled off so surely everyone else had too! Once she was ramping up and sent a text about something she'd taken out of context and over thought, and said along the lines of "just when I thought things were going to be better between us." WTF kind of magical thinking is that?? Her text came during a time of absolute silence, I wasn't texting or calling at all, hadn't for months. It was an issue regarding one of my brothers and I left it to him to share with her or not as he chose. Not my stuff but she tried to forcefeed it. I refused to participate in her drama, she could talk to my brother about it or not.

I just had to remove myself from it. I'm not going to be her sounding board or whipping boy anymore. I don't feel responsible for her stuff finally, but I'd not welcome her continuing ugliness either.

Side note - I had mother blocked for quite some time and thankfully she's not computer savvy, so she had limited options on the best of days. Then she disconnected her home phone so cell/texting was it. She seemed to get some sort of charge out of any response I might make, whether by text or phone call, so me leaving her be was a mixed blessing. She'd stilll ramp up, then it was because I was ignoring her. Well YEAH! You want to be an ass, do that, but don't complain when I choose to not participate anymore. Nothing I could say was going to change her rampage, is where I'm going with this. I just had to remove myself as much as humanly.

[moglow]

And fyi - two of my brothers have specifically described mommie dearest as evil, her behavior as demonic. She gets some kind of charge out of being rude and outright nasty to people, typically for no apparent reason other than that's what the voices told her to do. Will knowingly hurt someone and laugh right in their face, like all is right with her world.