Merry Christmas

[escapingman]

Merry Christmas to all of you, what a year this has been. If anyone would have told me I would be celebrating it on my own with DD and to have had 7 months of no contact with STBX a year ago I would not have believed them. I obviously miss GC and to have no contact with me is hurting, but I am safe and so is DD. We were just round giving a present to one of DD's friends, when driving off the tells me she loves me and she loves that I am not as strict with her as her friends parents. I told her I need to be more strict and she said no please, so we agreed I will continue not being strict, but she instead do things proactive. We then came to talk about STBX and she revealed she didn't think STBX was strict at all, but just sheer abusive. DD told me sha has 5000 words in her head and not one single of them can be used to explain how she feels with her mum. She tried to explain how she felt but could only say that it was so intense she just didn't know how to manage. Oh well, she is safe now and despite the house being upside down, Christmas decoration a bit in a mess and presents still not wrapped, we are safe and love each other.

Peace.

[Amadahy]

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all!!  It is wonderful to hear that DD feels safe.  If I had felt safe as a young person, I think it would have made all the difference.  Well done and continued peace and joy, escapingman!

[NarcKiddo]

Have a good one, escapingman.

You're doing a great job!

[SonofThunder]

Merry Christmas EM!  Thanks for the Christmas wishes and same to you and DD! 

SoT

[Gwendolyn]

Merry Christmas!!!

[hhaw]

Merry Christmas, EM.

Make sure to collect all the joy you available to you.  Every drop.

And remember, children need the safe container of healthy boundaries to feel safe.  They may not say it, but they need it.

[JustKeepTrying]

Merry Christmas EM - sending you, DD and GC lots of light and love this holiday.  JKT

[escapingman]

Thanks everyone, yesterday went well and DD and I had a very peaceful day. STBX tried to interfere and must have sent up to 30 messages to DD, annoying her a lot. Anyway, after the christmas meal we went to one of DD's friends family who lives down the road and played board games and card all evening. Funniest bit was when we came home was DD looking at me saying, STBX would never have done that, she would have stayed at home sulking.

Peace!

[Lookin 2 B Free]

Freedom is pretty precious.  I'm glad you two enjoyed yourselves (despite the 30 messages, grrr).  It's heartening to hear, EM!

[hhaw]

Love love love to play cards and board games with the kids!

FYI, a new favorite is a game called Ticket To Ride...,great for 3+ players.....up to 5 I think.

Better than Monopoly by a mile, imo.

Stbx texting DD 30x on Christmas will appear unhinged and controlling, imo.

Make sure to note DD's reactions in your calendar or journal.

I'm curious what the messages say.  How unhinged does stbx get?  Or is it the same thing, over and over?

My in laws sent their typical Christmas letter this year.....and it's different this time.  They've stopped pretending interest.....very sad and pointed.....want so badly to get on with destroying our lives while pretending they aren't toxic thieves abusing us through the legal system.

I notice my reactivity is much reduced, btw.

Merry Christmas🎄

[escapingman]

hhaw, to use DD's own words - They were very manipulative and she is not happy. They included photos of their Christmas with messages she wished DD was there, asking DD when she want to see her and photos of a hot tub telling DD that when she is ready they can all bath together. It was also lots of questions about what DD was up to and what she got for Christmas etc. DD told me she is going to complain to the social worker as she is really upset. She showed me some of the messages and photos, my reaction to the photos "Thank God I am out of that".

STBX has shown more and more desperation to regain control of DD and to get her back with them, luckily DD can see through it. MIL is sending really creepy messages that is something you send to a 3-year old, declaring her undying love for DD (this on the back of 8 months silent treatment).

GC wants to meet up with DD now, they suddenly got one more present that needs to be given to DD, GC want to catch up about things at the same time. It's very sad as both me and DD knows this is just to gather as much info as possible to pass on to STBX. I hate both girls being used like this, but if I tried to stop the girls seeing each other I would be toast.

But I think the complete meltdown of STBX is getting closer.

Thanks for the suggestion of the board game, I need to get to have a few and to get into having friends over.