Lightbulb moment

[PDisreal1]

Hi, I'm new here. I have a sibling that I think is cluster B. He can't take responsibility for anything, is abnormally sensitive to criticism and conversation are always Extra hard and take so much more energy to have than normal. Our parent was just diagnosed with dementia and she named him years ago as the POA for her finances. I believe she has coddled him for years. He could never do any wrong and when he would verbally assault me or treat me badly she would always take up for him. I felt very invalidated and always like i was the cause of all the conflict because even my mother said so. Now that her mind is gone I am seeing things for myself and putting 2 and 2 together. In June of 2020 her savings account had $104k in it and was around that amount (give it take a few thousand) for the 3 years prior. After he took over her accounts and started spending her money, her balance went from $104k  to $7,771 today. In 2.5 years. When I bring it up to him he attacks me and insults me. He out talks me and tells me and says I am trying to lecture him, he is supposed to be a fiduciary but he cannot even manage his own money let alone some else's. I am scared for my  Mom and think he can drive her to bankruptcy. Everyone tells me to take him to court but I am truthfully done. I want nothing more than to go NC disappear and let the chips fall where they may. He is toxic and he makes me sick. I keep telling myself  as a last resort we can just sell her house and use the proceeds for her care. BTW he lives there rent and utility free and won't pay even one bill if not for her he would be homeless yet he puts on a mask that he is the dutiful son  who is taking care of his  mother. That's the image he projects only he is stealing from her! J am so conflicted and want to move on with my life. They really don't deserve me; I've always been the weird emphatic one.

[notrightinthehead]

Welcome! You have found a good place. We understand here.  Please study the Toolbox for suggestions how to deal with your brother if you need to.
It seems that your mother put herself willingly into the situation she is in now.  You describe a situation where your brother is on a path of self destruction, and if you ever attended any Al-Anon meetings you know that the less you stand in the way, the less you try to protect the person, the less you prolong the inevitable crash.
Your decision to wipe your hands might be the sane one for you. If you think that you need to protect your assets however, you might want to involve some legal assistance proactively.
See you around on the boards.