Caretaker is mentally unwell and spouse is not getting proper care

[jazzhands]

My mil (75) is diagnosed bipolar/bpd but aside from a once a year visit w/ a psychiatrist, she is not under regular care. She has manic cycles in the Spring and Fall, and her mental health downswings seem to be exacerbated by her husband's health conditions.

My fil (74) is a type 1 diabetic. In the past few weeks he has had erratic blood glucose readings, going as high as 400 and as low as 35. Daily. When these occur, he's too out of it to care for himself, and though she can help initially, he is not being seen by a medical professional at all. He really needs oversight to have things stabilized.
She seems more annoyed  that he is now unable to drive than with the root cause, that his sugars cannot he stabilized. She doesn't take him to an ER/call911/seek medical help when this happens. In fact, he fell recently due to low blood sugar, and hit his head. She doesn't like to drive in icy conditions so she wanted him to drive himself to the ER. He is not himself when his glucose is off, and his balance is terrible. we had to explain to her that he would have fallen trying to park and walk across the icy parking lot to receive care.

Though we have tried to set up in-home care (she declined bc people in her home causes her anxiety) and suggest appointments for him, things continue to go down hill. He is exhausted after these episodes and needs recovery time in between, and because they are happening so often, his health is declining.

How  can we ensure he gets proper medical care when she, his caregiver, doesn't think it's needed (and he's not stable enough to know)?

We live far away from them so cannot be there in person.

[Srcyu]

When fil is briefly stable could he then phone for advice?
Could a medical person ring him regularly?

If  he tells you about his blood sugars, perhaps you could be in the loop with the doctor/nurse.

[jazzhands]

Thanks for the reply. I wish fil would, but he doesn’t seem to understand what’s going on. He is almost in a constant state of confusion with his blood glucose issues.

MIl doesn’t allow their adult children to speak with their doctors.

[FromTheSwamp]

In the United States, call Adult Protective Services. 

[Poison Ivy]

 

[jazzhands]

Thanks for the reply!

[1footouttadefog]

Call protective services.  That is what they are for.