Healing self-destructive behavior

[mary_poppins]

Hi all.

Has anyone here found a way to heal self-destructive behavior? I am constantly choosing people and situations that are not good for me. Some situations are toxic, some are not in line with what I want. Or if a good opportunity comes along, I find a way to chase it away. This is mostly true with people/relationships. I see that healthy individuals are not attracted to me or don't have an interest in being my friend/romantic partner.
I do have 2 great friends but they both live far away and we don't talk often.

Any books on this subject that might help with this?

I did start therapy so please don't advise this. Unless it's a special kind of therapy that is really effective

[SonofThunder]

Hi all.

Has anyone here found a way to heal self-destructive behavior? I am constantly choosing people and situations that are not good for me. Some situations are toxic, some are not in line with what I want. Or if a good opportunity comes along, I find a way to chase it away. This is mostly true with people/relationships. I see that healthy individuals are not attracted to me or don't have an interest in being my friend/romantic partner.
I do have 2 great friends but they both live far away and we don't talk often.

Any books on this subject that might help with this?

I did start therapy so please don't advise this. Unless it's a special kind of therapy that is really effective

Hi Mary,

So very sorry you are experiencing the self-destructive behaviors. If I may ask, are the majority of these people/situations you describe, being found using online resources or by non-online interactions, such as through shared in-person hobbies/interests? 

SoT

[notrightinthehead]

Mary, have you checked out the crappy childhood fairy? This is one of her topics, the attraction to unsuitable partners, how to date, what to do to change yourself in order to find more suitable partners. She has lots of videos on YouTube,  you might find some ideas there.
One of her suggestions that I thought made a lot of sense was to write down exactly what you want in a partner and what are definite no ways.