Spotting the red flags feels GOOD!

[Boat Babe]

I dipped my toe into the world on (insert social media platform here) dating a couple of days ago just to see what happens. I'm already thinking I haven't got time for this and that's more than OK, so I am clearly happy with being single for the foreseeable future. That's all good.  While I was there, one guy messaged me and was so over the top that my red flagometer went off. I was "scrumptious" and "delicious". Last time I looked I wasn't a bar of chocolate! He asked me what it would take to "sweep me off my feet"  and painted a picture of us holding hands under a starry sky. Five years ago I might have fallen for that shite and there will undoubtedly be some poor woman who will do. But not me.

Knowledge is power!

[xredshoesx]

feels great, doesn't it.

my online dating profile was all about how i lived on yams and liked satanic metal..... even with that as an opener i still got the inquiries that made me go YOU DIDN'T READ A THING I WROTE

[Boat Babe]

Nothing wrong with yams!  That is funny 😂

[1footouttadefog]

The sweep off feet questions made me imagine it was some sort of mail order company for custom Narcs. 

Like he was letting you create the false persona yourself.  My thoughts are no thanks there are lots of things I can do for myself. 

[Marianne]

Good! Well done!   

I had the same a while back. Playfully entered a datingsite/friendshipsite to very carefully look around. A guy e-mailed. After a few mails, it was rather clear to me. He had severe childhood trauma. Was super over the top romantic right away...how I was so incredibly special, and such a perfect match...in beautiful words. And telling me exactly what I wanted to hear. And how we were so similar. Songs attached that played on my feelings, encouraging me to go for it. He wanted to rush into things.

I noticed the effect on me was the same as with my ex (and someone in my family). Right away. I was happy for a very short time...until I thought: nah. I know this feeling. And this game. I am not going this route again.

I told him politely that I did not want to continue chatting. And got an e-mail in which he tried to guilt-trip me to the extreme. Calling me worse than his personality disordered ex. All I did, was kindly tell him no, after a few e-mails. I was real glad I finally recognized the game. And quit it. In time.

Good that you experienced the same.