New member here

[The_Inversed_Sight]

Hello, I am new to this place but I am happy to have discovered this forum.
I am not too sure what I will post or not post here, but I suppose introductions are overdue.

I am the child of a covert narcissistic father that I have had no contact with for roughly a decade now at this point.

Since cutting contact with him, I have uncovered more and more shocking secrets he and his family has hidden from me and other relatives that border from illegal to downright disgusting. It is a complicated story, and only now am I starting to uncover the bigger uglier picture of how much evil he hid from me and how lucky I am to have escaped without injury.

I must also clarify that my father's entire family is extremely, if not entirely likely, narcissistic (with a sprinkling of psychotic traits) also, but there is no official diagnosis as no one has been forced to be evaluated. It was a nuthouse that I am glad to never have to deal with them ever again, though I fear for other loved ones who remain innocent to their skeletons in the closet.

Anyways, now that I am free I am still dealing with the damaging aftermath he and his family left on me and what to do about discovering/uncovering such evils.

I am still incredibly hurt and angry about him. It haunts me during my sleep and I have had terrible vivid nightmares and harsh anxiety attacks off and on because of the trauma.
I am trying to heal and recover, but fear I likely will not heal fully despite all the time we have been separated from each other. It is not easy, but I am trying to make the best of things.

For anonymity, I will do my best to not accidentally disclose any personal information here.
The circumstances of my childhood with him and his family are wild enough to be made into a movie, so if I respond in a confusing manner to a reply it might be because of personal information that I can only divulge part of to you.

Please feel free to ask for clarification, I will do my best to give what I can, but considering they are all still alive I fear oversharing.

My overall goal here is to seek both reassurance and perhaps some minor guidance and advice from time to time. The worst of my storm is over, but the thunder still rumbles on occasion.

That's all for my introduction here. I hope my stay will be a fruitful and insightful one, and perhaps I will help inspire others on the way. Thank you for reading and have a pleasant day.

[xredshoesx]

welcome to the group the_inversed_sight-

we totally get the need to stay loose with the details in order to protect privacy.  that being said, share what you are comfortable with when you are ready.  coming from a similar background i also choose wisely when and who to share with bc it's so fantastical at times plus for the factor i don't have time to try to keep explaining to people why i'm NC.  some things are just better left alone with people you are casual with.

[The_Inversed_Sight]

Many thankyous xredshoesx for the warm welcome 

I too struggle with having to explain why I went NC with my father.
It is tiring and hard for people to fully grasp; I tend to just save my breath and just state that 'he was not a good father', etc. and leave it at that.