Family chat

[Breadroll]

For the most part family chat can a positive place- I don't participate much other than " happy birthdays" etc-

Recently nbpd older family member has been posting about her anguish relating to death of some of her "friends"( people she knows).this has elicited kindness and attention from younger family - the desired response.( I don't participate)

I found this jarring, reflecting on her behavior decades ago after the loss of a parent. Remorseless harridan out to grasp possessions. No empathy for others around her, just greed and shouting over those grieving around her.Unforgivable.

Of course, it's clear what's wrong now ( had no idea at the time). And it is just the nature of the beast- she has no insight into her behavior, and the younger family members now soothing her were not born.

Just venting here- to people who get it.thanks!

[Ktaylor]

Oh how I can relate!  Before I went no contact with my uBPD sister last Thanksgiving, she had the younger generation captivated with her stories of her youth (none of it true).  She cornered them upstairs with stories, tears and advice.  Once other family members realized their teenagers were missing a couple went up to provide adult supervision but by then she was on a roll and could not be stopped.

She has re-written our childhood into a traumatic horror story, when she tells stories of our childhood and people used to ask me why i looked like I was hearing them for the first time, as it was my childhood too.  Then I would have to explain how I was hearing them for the first time, as most of it was NOT true. 

[Breadroll]

Awful isn't it? Sorry to hear about your BPD sister. Glad we have a place to say it and be understood. Do you explain to younger ones quietly that sister is not entirely well? I often wish I had s wise person spell it out for me when I was younger - ie " she's not quite right and might be mean"

On the one hand I have almost no contact with this particular person ( which has been a huge help) but this tiny window via the chat triggered me- seeing how she sucks energy from another generation. She literally inflicted trauma - no remorse - after a funeral.

She is not the only pd in the family system of course - but I am shielded from nearly all of it now. Find myself wishing for  a Harry Potter like expéliamus magic trick! Wouldn't that be great? We could have happy functional caring families.

Deep breaths and self care 😎