Attacking, projection, stonewalling, and causing drama

[discarded]

I had a relative do something that seemed pretty disrespectful. Maybe I am repeating myself but I feel like I just want to get this out. It bothers me because they know where I live.

I had a very abusive/ narcissistic mother, who I went no contact with to combat her toxicity, and break her focus on me as her main supply. It was painful and I felt guilty but I felt like I was making a decision to not let someone toxic try to rule my life.

This relative was very focused on my mother, and her behavior. It seems they may have exaggerated on some things about our past to try and provoke a response from me and gain my loyalty. They knew all the ways in which I was abused by my mother, and they even accused my mother of being complicit in my sexual abuse (though their accusation might not have any validity).

I remember being afraid of my superintendent because he seemed kind of erratic, and I said I was concerned. My relative screamed at me, and told me it was all my fault and that I am just a difficult person. She claimed I was deliberately provoking him, because I told my super I would hire a professional instead of letting him do the job. He had no clue how to do the job properly, and he kept delaying it, and being willfully non-compliant and argumentative when I would try to discuss getting it  done. I got fed up with him.

This relative accused me of lying and being terrible to such a nice man (keeping up the image of me being a difficult woman who just likes to falsely accusing all men of being creeps).

Like clockwork, the very next day, my superintendent got drunk and starts sending me creepy texts calling me a fucking bitch. He wanted me to "share my feelings" with him, and when I politely said "no thanks" it set him off. He was acting weird all day and kept sending me weird and insulting text messages, demanding I come home to get a gift of a shower head from him. I was working so I couldn't come home right away, so he got offended and began just making comments like, "whatever!"

My superintendent was not an emotionally stable person, and was likely an alcoholic.

This relative who was so deeply offended and accused me of lying about having him to come and survey my place. They made it sound like I lied to just get attention. He did come in and survey my place for the purpose of the job, and even he stated he did; though I am not sure he actually surveyed anything he was supposed to.

I was genuinely not comfortable around this man. And I think I had a perfectly valid reason to not feel comfortable. This relative absolutely skewered my character over it.

So I lived in a very tense environment with this superintendent, and probably almost every time I interacted with him, he was dangerously drunk.

I remember he was doing another repair, and he bragged about beating up a tenant, and about going into another tenant's unit and stealing her prescription medication under his suspicion that she was dealing.

Deciding I didn't want to hang out with him and be his buddy, I said I was going to the liquor store, and offered to buy him beer. I knew it was an offer he wouldn't refuse; he told me to pick up specific brand.

When I got back I handed him his beer, and he looked at me like I had done the most amazing thing and said, "how'd you know which beer to buy me." I told him he told me what to buy him 20 minutes ago. He was already blacking out and it was 3pm in the afternoon.

I discussed this with the Landlord/ owner and said he was a safety risk.

I never told my relative because I knew they would come back and accuse me of being difficult.

My relative in the meantime decided I deserved to be punished, after stonewalling me over the incident with my superintendent and tried to provoke me by stating, "I almost gave your address to your mother." I think they did that because they felt I deserved to be exposed and punished. I chuckled and said, "omg I would disown you." They went into a rage at me.

Their response gave me whiplash, because here they are mistreating me over a very tense and volatile situation, and then they're stonewalling me, and then they're trying to hand out my private information in a way that really could have been misused. How gross is it to say, "your mother was complicit in your sexual abuse" and then turn around and attempt to give them my address as some weird form of punishment? She also knew that my mother incited my brother to attack me on more than one occasion. And they're shocked, and mortally wounded that I would have pushback over them claiming they almost gave my address to them? What do you call it when you're exposing someone's private information that could lead them to being harmed? Criminal harassment?

Seems they liked stirring the pot.

Of course they turned around and used this interaction to depict how I abused them with my tone.

That's when I decided I was just done with family.

[walking on broken glass]

I am really sorry to hear all this. It is so unfair you have to deal with an unstable relative and superintendent at the same time. You did the right thing by speaking to the landlord. I hope he gets removed. It is also smart to cut off all contact with that relative either. They don't have your best interest at heart and you don't need the extra stress in your life, with accusations and threats. They sound like they have problems, but you are not the one to solve them.