Maiden vs Married names

[sunshine702]

So I just sort of stumbled upon the fact that the ex wife is using her old married name again at her job she started three years ago.  She is maryExFamilyname@bigcorporation.com

I found that odd this is her 3 rd job and a new state away.  Back in the other state and closer to the divorce it made sense.  She is a career woman and not change it then makes sense but changing it BACK nearly a decade out?

Weird right.

I had a divorce in 2003 and the thought of using his last name at my job now puzzles me greatly

Anyone have any insights.

[Call Me Cordelia]

Weird, but whatever. Not your circus, not your monkeys.

[sunshine702]

True. My sniff test is MIL was reaching out "around Christmas" to triangulate.  This woman cheated TWICE and left.  But sure open that door.

[Associate of Daniel]

I don't remember your story, sorry.  So my response may not be relevant.

I was divorced over 10 years ago.  At the time I decided to keep my married name until ds was an adult (18) or a little older and out of school.

I didn't want him to have to deal with the fact that he had a different surname from me, his mum.  It was confusing enough that his parents no longer lived with each other.

I also knew that at times it can be difficult administration-wise, if the child has a different surname from one or both of his/her parents' name.

My son also had a uNPDsmother, who appeared very quickly on the scene, (she was always there during the marriage, but not in my son's life until after uNPD exH left me for her), who used my (now her) married surname.  She also very much pushed herself into the role of biological mother, causing many medicos much confusion.  So it was just as well I kept my married name, even if for that reason alone.

My ds will be turning 18 at the end of the year, so I am now looking at finally changing my surname.  I can't wait.  I really hate my married name and my maiden name is far more interesting and less common.  However,something is holding me back.

My ds says it doesn't bother him if I change my name.  Probably at his age, he doesn't yet understand the significance of changing it, and, being less sentimental than me, maybe he won't ever understand it.  Much as I hate the name, by changing it, I feel like I'm almost disowning my son.  It's silly, and especially since he and I have a very close and beautiful relationship.

I've thought of the option of double barrelling it, but the names don't go well together.  And I don't want the married name anyway.

Career wise, I never had a career so my name wasn't important in that aspect.  I could have changed it and nobody would have blinked an eye.  I am a little surprised that your ex changed her name, if she has a good reputation under her old name.  But at the end of the day, try not to get bogged down with it.  It's her decision to make herself look a little weird with the name choice and timing of the change.

AOD