19+ year old son still in the fog

[PlantFlowersNotWeeds]

So, almost 2 years out and my son still has his father on a pedestal.  Intellectually, I get it, but emotionally sometimes I just wanna scream and say out loud "you know what he is doing is ridiculous, right?" or  "you know he's doing this just to mess with you, right?".  These are the more passive, polite comments I want to say.

It's so frustrating.  I am working really hard on not saying anything, because I know that would do damage - I'd be putting him in a position to defend his dad.

Long story short - my son needed a new car, his current one is unsafe, of course his dad isn't helping out at all, in any capacity, and he knows all about cars! can fix them !  But no, he's not helping and my son acts like this is absolutely okay.  I just don't get it....  I know my son appreciates how I can assist him, which is progress.

I'm needed to vent because I know others here understand.  I'm hoping that my son does get it, but doesn't want to admit it to me.  That would be okay - I am afraid that his dad will take advantage of him, I also know I have no control over that. 

SO FRUSTRATING UGHHHH

Even with this frustration, I am still in awe that I found the courage and power to leave that marriage - I even have come to terms with the $$ the divorce cost me - worth every cent

[Lookin 2 B Free]

Boy, Flowers, isn't that just the way it goes!  It's been a while since my kids were 19, but I do remember that kind of situation with my oldest son.  The ex could act like a jerk and be completely neglectful and still be seen as the prize.  I'm sure you've heard this, counselors pointing out "It's because they feel safe with you."  You obviously care more about your child's wellbeing than anything, unlike the pwPD.  Sometimes that has to be reward enough, that you are giving him what he needs.

It doesn't mean it can't get horribly frustrating.  I'm glad you have this forum to vent, and the eyes to see how fortunate you are to be out.  Your son is lucky to have you as his mom!

[SonofThunder]

I"m glad you have this forum to vent, and the eyes to see how fortunate you are to be out.  Your son is lucky to have you as his mom!

+1 

SoT

[PlantFlowersNotWeeds]

I had to keep reminding myself today - use the tools - Grey Rock this!!

Today, I wanted to yell at my ex so I talked to my cat.  And in all honesty, I feel like I get a more genuine reaction from my cat than I ever did from  my ex