new member looking for answers about NPD

[JR]

Hello all, like most here from what i've read on this forum so far are having the exact issues as me and at 62 years old with the aid of GOOGLE search have find out that I've grown up and am surrounded by a Narcissist family{mother,brother(golden child) and most likely a covert/enabler Narcissist sister which I was never aware of until I dove into online research into their toxic entitled behavior patterns. As you may have already realized I am the Scapegoat of the family probably my whole life being on the receiving end of their lies,gaslighting,toxic entitlement which as you all know yourselves all too well, nothing new here. My situation brings me to be a caregiver for my mother whom I've noticed throughout my life was severely vicious attacks om me and my father(non-Narc) and lately since 2015 she had a stroke and seems have triggered her Narcissism to a much higher rate than through out my life growing up and dished it out to my father as well for the majority of their marriage from what i've seen. anyway I'm extremely glad to have found this FORUM which gives me info from others and a place to get some help from people who know that I'm telling the truth about these NPD people which most of the people in outside world whom don't know or care or believe what we are going through, we can get strength through on others experiences. so far reading through these forums its uncanny how alike these Narcissists are with their Toxic behaviors identical to what I'm experiencing!

[bloomie]

Hi JR! Welcome to Out of the FOG! You most certainly are not alone in finding yourself googling hurtful behaviors that do not make any sense or that you don't have context for. I am thankful you found this supportive community of fellow travelers.

Caregiving an elderly parent who has toxic and entitled behavior patterns is terribly difficult. Building support around yourself like reaching out here and in real life for supportive environment and people who get it is a really wise self care step!

Since you have been taking a look around I'm sure you see the toolbox and resources at the drop down menu and have found the conversations taking place on the sub forums. We have one specifically for dealing elderly parents with PD behaviors found here: Dealing With Elderly PD Parents

One of the first things I learned when I arrived exhausted and discouraged here at Out of the FOG is something we call the 3 C's Rule which says: "I didn't cause it, I can't cure it, and I can't control it."

Such a great reminder when our resolve might begin to wobble as we make changes with difficult family members. 

Make yourself and home and when you are ready, join the conversations taking place out there on the forum boards! We welcome you!

[JR]

thank you, it is especially difficult care giving in my opinion a highly narcissistic individual when at the same time having 2 in my opinion highly narcissistic siblings whom you would think would offer help and assistance if needed but really cause more problems for me because you cannot come to any type of agreement on anything anyway, so any fires(many) that may arise I'll have to put it out myself, Im just glad I figured out what the heck has been going on for 62 years dealing with my family, although people and resources are non existent because most normal people cannot get their heads around that these situations actually do exist and that Narcissists can mask their toxic behaviors to the outside world very well therefore many will not see the toxic behaviors which predominately happen behind closed doors away from the normal population eyes and ears, this is done purposely by them to isolate you from what they perceive as assistance against them.