Shutting down

[Rockyride]

Has anyone else found they shut down around the NPD Mom, to the point of passing out asleep? This is new for me, but happened during her visit. I just got so tired being around her I went to my room and passed out
sleeping.

She paid a visit this week after a long time, I thought it would be a nice time. I felt so shut down I blocked out everything I needed to do for work, and even held my breath at times.

I tried not to let her get to me, but noticed some things:
 - she spoke for us both in situations, like I would want what she wanted, eg dinner
 - speaking like a child
 - telling me off in front of other people
 - mocking laugh
- talking through tv shows
 - won't be told anything
 - blind to my needs
- critical and controlling
- zero compassion as a Mom


I just didn't want to be around her, in the same room as her, it was worse than ever and I don't know why. She has gone but am now feeling numb, head is spinning, guilty, confused. I totally shut down this time, she noticed and made comments but I just ignored things she said. She thinks I have the problem and not her

[Rebel13]

Hi Rockyride, I don't know that I ever fell asleep, but I know that it has taken varying amounts of time for me to recover from interactions with my mom in the past. Trying to manage oneself so as to not set them off, trying to manage them to minimize the damage or defend boundaries, trying to manage the circumstances (like apologizing for them being rude to waitstaff), and coping with the emotions of it all, is exhausting. I remember one holiday dinner with my mom, sibling and grandparents when I was a teen or young adult, I wanted to crawl under the table as my mother described in detail her pending divorce and my dad's "abusiveness" to our waitress! Holy moly.

[Aingeal]

I find my narcmom to be positively draining.  I've needed naps before her visits/after her visits - they really are energy vampires.  She's at the level of a toddler and it feels like I've been babysitting a toddler during her visits.  The mental gymnastics (lying, gaslighting etc. etc.) wear me out.  Not to mention constantly defending myself, even though she'll put words in my mouth and act like I said something entirely different.  It really is exhausting being around these toxic people 

I don't know if it's adrenal fatigue from being on high alert because Lord knows we can't put our guard down for even a minute - these narcs will sense that and exploit it.  I noticed all of narcmom's friends drifted away as she's in her eighties and Has no filter - the mask has seriously dropped and she's scary   

I also noticed that they just.dont.stop.
She's always pitting family member against family member and enjoying the chaos......while denying she had anything to do with it.  I'm thinking about going NC to preserve my health and save my sanity.  It's not just your imagination, the narcs enjoy creating drama and their toxicity affects us (stress, skin problems etc....)  Please take care of yourself even limit visits/time exposed to them helps a lot -