My Introductory

[When You Know]

Firstly, I would like to say how I feel for all you people who are suffering, or, have suffered the consequences of one of the most cruel and degrading forms of hate known to man. I am now in my late fifties, and have suffered the warped wrath of a narcissistic Mother ever since my cognitive recollection allows (around the age of seven years old). One of three siblings, and along with my sister, I was unfortunately given the roll as a scapegoat (for those who don't know, a labelled point within the triangle of dread), with my eldest sister being deemed the princess and of whom i once loved very much. Sadly our narcissistic Mother would not only dish out the silent treatment but also dish out systematic beatings to both of "us scapegoats" with anything that was at hand, or in her hand at that point of time and for no reason resulted in a fear that was at times, unbearably frightening for a child. My father, well he was a kind and loving man and one of whom had been worn to the point of a form of low esteem at the hands of his spouse, and of whom sadly passed away some years ago now. I once asked my Dad why he was still with her, and to why he hadn't left her years ago? His answer, "i'm here for you" meaning us, his children... a brave and caring man who certainly deserved a better life and I hope that where ever he is in which ever world, he's happy. I guess you all know how the narrative of narcissism plays out, the love bombing, the gaslighting and the rest of the vile satanic sense of entitlement they feel free to demonstrate at when ever time they choose, had in later years a very detrimental effect on  my sisters mental and physical state, resulting in both alcohol and drug abuse, smoking and forced to live in estrangement which sadly I feel contributed to her early death. Me, well I have constantly battled with mental health issues for the majority of my life, riding the forever rollercoaster ride caused by sick indoctrination. However, I've now cut the cord from the narcissistic regime and no longer see myself as a manipulative tool used at their disposal. She (mother) is still banging the narcissistic drum, the sign of a relentless and hardcore fully paid up member and ally of her favourite club!

Keep the faith people, love, compassion and kindness will always win!

[Rebel13]

Welcome! I'm sorry for what you went through, but glad you found the forum. I'm also in my 50s and the scapegoat child of a narcissistic mom (undiagnosed). I ended communication with her about two years ago now.

I hope you find the support and understanding that I've found here!

[bloomie]

When You Know - Welcome to Out of the FOG. Thank you for sharing with us the difficult relationships and painful experiences that bring you here. I am thankful you have found this supportive community, but so sorry for the anguish and heartbreak you have endured.

However, I've now cut the cord from the narcissistic regime and no longer see myself as a manipulative tool used at their disposal.

What a great deal of hard work you must've done to have reached this point of healing and detachment. Bravo!

I look forward to seeing you out on the forum boards and your participation in the conversations.