Half a Decade Later, still so thankful for you all!

Started by Stillirise, March 28, 2025, 09:07:44 AM

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Stillirise

March 28, 2025, 09:07:44 AM
It has been 5 years since I filed for divorce from uPDxh.  Yes, it was during the onset of COVID lockdown, and yes, it was a stressful and harrowing time.

I just wanted to drop in to pay it forward, and remind those of you who, right now, are where I was then, that life really can be OK.  Even great (most days)!  :D

My now high school age teenagers are thriving.  As for me, I have more on my plate than I'd like some days, and I also turned 50 in the past year. However, my physical and mental health are so much better than they were 5 years ago!

I still deal with the X in a co-parenting role.  If you will find yourself in that position, I highly recommend reading up on parallel parenting, and get a copy of Fjelstad's "Raising Resilient Children with a Borderline or Narcissistic Parent." My well-worn and highlighted copy is still in the drawer of my nightstand.

There is no way I can recount everything I learned here in one post.  However, know that it was in large part due to this place...the forums, the toolbox, all of it....that I was able to divorce a disordered individual, and bring 2 pre-teens through the chaos with me, to the other side!

I'm still here, if anyone ever wants to reach out.  Sending love, prayers and good vibes to all of you on your journeys! 
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
—Maya Angelou

SonofThunder

#1
March 28, 2025, 05:49:15 PM
Love these positive reports and hearty kudos to you for taking the time to reach back and share the encouragement with those farther back on the trail! 

Well done Stillirise!

SoT
Proverbs 17:1
A meal of bread and water in peace is better than a banquet spiced with quarrels.

2 Timothy 1:7
For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.

Proverbs 29:11
A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.

escapingman

#2
March 29, 2025, 05:43:47 AM
Wonderful reading, this site and forum saved my life too.

JustKeepTrying

#4
May 04, 2025, 10:10:35 PM
 So happy to read you are doing well! Love it!

MaxedOut

#5
May 05, 2025, 03:32:35 PM
Awesome update! And agree on health (physical and mental).

hhaw

#6
May 06, 2025, 10:45:58 AM
 :applause:
hhaw



What you are speaks so loudly in my ears.... I can't hear a word you're saying.

When someone tells you who they are... believe them.

"That which does not kill us, makes us stronger."
Nietchzsche

"It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness."
Eleanor Roosevelt

WhoAmI?

#7
July 31, 2025, 08:01:21 AM
Hi Stillirise,

So happy to hear how much better you're feeling 5 years out!

I'm a little over 4 - but really just started my journey of healing.

I can totally relate to co-parenting/parallel parenting with a NPD ex. She calls it co-parenting, but it's anything but. My daughter and I literally became estranged for a few years after the separation due to the smear campaign and lies (of which my daughter heard a lot of), the repeated undermining of agreements around our child, and just seeing how her other mom and her new girlfriend treated, and still do, treat me.

We're finally starting to reconnect - but dang if it's not hard to watch my kid idolize her PD mom while I'm trying my best to take care of everything and feel like chopped liver.

Divorce is incredibly difficult; divorcing someone with a PD is soul-sucking.

Thanks for your update. It gives me hope! And my hope for you is that things just get better and better!

Take care :)
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