Mother hung a picture of me and my abusive ex

[TimetoHeal]

So, if you've followed my posts in the elderly PD forum, you know my mother recently moved into assisted living.  She at first said she wanted none of her family pictures, very nice artwork, anything like that.  Now, she has decided to put up a very few things, and one of them just happens to be a picture with me with my abusive ex husband.  Isn't that nice?  She couldn't find another picture of her daughter to hang?  It would be one thing if it were just a picture, but she has maintained a relationship with him of sorts via text over the years.  Initiated by him, but very much accepted by her.  In fact, she just told me that he was texting her the night she moved into the AL facility wanting to come visit her.    She knows how he treated me.  She knows why we are divorced (15 years now).  But today she texts me a picture of the few family things she decided to hang on her wall, and there it is.  And she asked me, "Doesn't this look sweet?".  I answered, "yes, sweet, just one person too many".  No reply.  Why does she do this?  Am I overreacting?  No, she does not have dementia. 

[walking on broken glass]

My jaw dropped! Wtf?! This is unbelievable. I am so sorry, Time to Heal. I honestly don't know what is going on in their heads. My guess is because he appears to be nice to her, he is now 'a good person' to her. They judge other people based on how they make them feel. Ugh.

[TimetoHeal]

Yes, it probably is as simple as that.  But sometimes, I can't help but feel like she is taunting me with it. 

[walking on broken glass]

Well of course! If a friend did this, you would assume malicious intent and drop the friendship. I am sorry you have to deal with this on top of everything else. You could limit your visits to her, both in duration and frequency.

[NarcKiddo]

Ghastly. You are not overreacting.

[TimetoHeal]

Thank you for the support, WOBG and NarcKiddo.

I don't think I'm overreacting the more I think about it.  This isn't a one-off where she is feeling vulnerable because she's moved to AL and wants "all her family around her" or anything.  This has been ongoing since my divorce. She used to still invite him to holiday get togethers until I absolutely put my foot down about that and said I wouldn't attend any more gatherings with him there at her house.  And even when we were married, she and my ex often ganged up on me and talked about me behind my back.  They are two peas in a pod.  I want to say let him go visit her, and they can have each other.

[walking on broken glass]

I am do sorry, Time to Heal. What a disgusting way for your mother to behave - side with the abuser against her own daughter. She is trying to prove that she can do better at interpersonal relations than you? Anything can turn into a competition for them. So pathetic

[TimetoHeal]

I never even thought about the competition aspect, WOBG.  There may very well be something to that.  Like, look how generous and forgiving I can be.     Also, I think attention from men is a big thing for her.