Starting therapy yet again - wish me luck!

[TimetoHeal]

My latest merry go round with my mother this last month had me realizing I need to get back into therapy, so I reached out to a new one and I start this week.  It seems like whenever I find a good therapist, something happens and either they move somewhere or insurance changes or something, so I haven't been in therapy the past 6 months or so.  Well, my mom's breakdown convinced me I need to find a new one and stay in it if at all possible!

Anyway, I hope this therapist will be a good fit.  She is very young, which shouldn't matter, and I'm trying not to make any assumptions based on that.  I've seen therapists my age that weren't that great, so... Anyway, I know it's just an initial meeting this week, but I am nervous. 

Just curious, when you all have started out with a new therapist, how do you usually approach your first session?  Do you lay it all out at once?  I feel like I always tend to minimize things and hold back, sort of like when I am making a new friend, and realize this might not be helpful for therapy at all. 

Thanks!

[walking on broken glass]

Best of luck, Time to Heal!
My new therapist is young too and so far I am happy with her. I personally laid everything out, as much as it is possible in one session! It will take time for you to get used to her and settle, so don't worry about how much info you will pass on in session one. She will tease it out eventually

I will keep my fingers crossed for you
🤞 🤞

[GoodPesto]

Hi TimeToHeal,

good there was a spot available when you wanted one.
Regarding your question I think it may depend a little on where you are in your process. For me there were moments when it was benefical to dive in at the deep end in the first session to see if the counterpart is capable of handling difficult or complex subjects. In other moments I would not have been able to digest the disappointment of having openend up to someone and disclose intimite parts of my (inner) life in case the counterpart/therapist turned out to be not a good fit, so holding back was the way to go.
So it could depend also a little on how vulnerable you are/feel at the moment and how much protection you might need.
It's also of course hard to know upfront when you have no idea who you will be talking to. She could be a great therapist regardless of her age, she could be too inexpierenced for your liking and that would be okay, too. 

[Rebel13]

I don't blame you for being nervous! I hope it's worked out OK if you had the appointment already.

My therapist offered a free 30-minute initial consultation and I took advantage of that to go in prepped with three questions about things she said on her website that related to my major concerns/current problems. I also wanted to get a feel for her personality and perspective and I thought asking her to talk about her practice as it related to my concerns would give me a chance to do that. I got lucky and she's a really good fit for me at this point in my life.

Let us know how it goes for you!

[TimetoHeal]

Thank you WOBG, GoodPesto, and Rebel! My appointment is Thursday, so I am still anxiously awaiting. 

GoodPesto,
That's such a good point you make about where I am in my healing whether or not I can take sharing too much and being invalidated.  Early on, I did meet with more than one therapist who dismissed my concerns (this was when I was going through a divorce and sharing that I thought my husband was emotionally abusive).  I was devastated and retraumtized at the time.  But I've come a long way, and learned that many therapist don't get it, unfortunately.  I think I am far enough along now that if I got any hint of that from a new therapist I could just say "Thank you" and walk out.  I am not wasting my time with anybody like that.  So, I think I am going to err on the side of sharing as much as possible that is relevant. 

[walking on broken glass]

Good luck with therapy tomorrow, Time to Heal! I hope your new therapist is a good fit for you 🤞

[TimetoHeal]

Good luck with therapy tomorrow, Time to Heal! I hope your new therapist is a good fit for you 🤞

Thank you so much, WOBG! 

[TimetoHeal]

Ya'll!

I think I've found a great therapist!  My concerns about her being so young were unfounded.  I think these new therapists are highly trauma-informed, and this therapist seems wise and well-trained.  She had read over my intake form, and knew why I was there (I've had therapists NOT do this, after I spent hours online filling it out!).  She went through my intake in order to clarify and get me to expand on some things so that she would know what I wanted to work on in therapy.  So, we definitely got down to the nitty gritty right away, if not in great detail yet.  After we went through my major life events and trauma experiences, she was like, "You've been through a lot".  That was very affirming. 

She says her focus is person-centered therapy, which I had heard, but didn't really know what it meant. But basically that she meets a person where they are and uses whatever approach is necessary for them instead of always working from one tool in your toolbox, so to speak.  And also that she acts as an empathetic listener to affirm my experience, as well as do a lot of digging to make things make sense.  That's probably not a great definition of it, but that was how I interpreted it. 

Anyway, I felt at the end that I had found my therapist!    We're going to be weekly to start out with, so I am excited to finally be making a commitment to myself in this way. 

[bloomie]

TimetoHeal - how great to come here and read your thread! I am so happy to hear you have found a good fit and will have the support you are looking for! Yay!!!

[walking on broken glass]

I am so happy for you, Time to Heal! That's great news! It's so good to find a therapist who feels like a good fit immediately. I am sure it will help you greatly.

[Prototypian]

Happy to read that you've found positive support!

[TimetoHeal]

Thank you so much, Bloomie, WOBG, and Jsinjin!   

[Rebel13]

That's wonderful! Some of your points sound like what I've experienced this past year and it's been so helpful -- particularly not being committed to one particular therapeutic approach. That's been so nice, to be able to use insights from different approaches (gestalt, internal family systems, expressive arts therapy, mindfulness, whatever Pete Walker calls his stuff, neurophysiology/neuroplasticity research) without having to adhere to any dogma.

Wishing you the best in the process!!

[TimetoHeal]

Thank you, Rebel!  Yes, I think there is benefit to using many different approaches and techniques, and some that sound a little scary to me, honestly, like some of the somatic approaches like EMDR (not dissing it or minimizing the help it may have given anyone, I just know it's not for me, and at least right now!).  So, I was really happy to find someone who practices the same way. 

I'm in a totally different helping profession, and I've always felt like an eclectic approach was best because I've yet to find one tool set that is appropriate for every single client. 

[MaxedOut]

 That's great that the new therapist looked over the intake materials and really took time to go over things and glad she seems like a great fit. The nice part about those with multiple modalities is you can often say you are needing something's more like _______ (the risk is sometimes things be a bit drifty if neither party has specific aims and possibly pathways in mind).

Again, that is fantastic you found a good fit. Therapists have been really helpful to me the past few years.

[walking on broken glass]

Hi, Maxed out, just to say that when you share instagram content, the account from which you share it is also visible. You might already know it and not mind, but I thought I'd say it, in case you didn't!

[MaxedOut]

Oh jeez, thanks for the heads up Walking!