Hi

[Doglover95]

Hi,

Not really sure what I'm supposed to say or not say.

Urmmmm I got directed to this site after speaking to a helpline.

For reference I'm 30 years old, I've known since 18 that my mom was a narcissist and everything revolved around her.

I tried to move out at the time and couldn't, In the end I couldn't take it and when I did move out, I got told by her friend "oh yeah I knew what your mum was doing was wrong, but I was scared".

Well last year up till now a lot of things have happened to me, which has made me think of things from childhood.

My mom has never been supportive in anything I do or how I live my life, she doesn't even know I'm gay because she can't agree with it.

I think that's it for now. There's more but I can't just off load.

[Rebel13]

Hi Doglover95! Welcome to the forums. There are lots of supportive people here, and others have posted their stories and suggestions so feel free to dive in wherever it makes sense for you. It sounds like you have moved out and are working on your own life, which is great! Having been raised by a mom who, at least, had narcissistic traits, I know there is a lot more to the story. I'm still working on the habits and patterns I learned growing up with her.

For now, you can read others' stories, if you would like, or share more of yours when you feel ready. You can also check out the articles in the Toolbox section of the site, which might help if you are in contact with your mom, or if there are other people in your life like her. (That happens to a lot of us.)

There is also a sister site, Out of the Storm, which is "For Survivors of Complex Relational Trauma with Complex PTSD". You could take a look there as well and see if their material speaks to you.

Again, welcome, and all the best to you.

[xredshoesx]

welcome to the group @Doglover95 -

i'm the adult child of a uPD mother who went FULL NC at 22..... even at 54 I still struggle with the things I remember and trying to rationalize the wreck that she made my childhood, as well as still dealing with residual issues from ALL types of abuse because of the things I was exposed to by her choices. my story veers a lil differently bc I was further shunned for not conforming to the ultra conservative religious/political views which also took some unlearning and reparenting of myself...  but a similar outcome.  once I figured out all I had was me and ain't no one gonna help me but me.....  I just could't go back for more abuse by proxy of my half siblings/ cousins/ etc.

the best things I did for me and my healing was finding my own  tribe (some of those people are actually from here) and getting into talking therapy.  another thing that helped is supportive female friends who emulated the behavior of the mother I needed vs the one I got, so I could model them as I reparented myself.....

baby steps and you will get to a place where you can thrive  and be your real you and feel safe/good about it, and not just survive.  until then, we are listening when you are ready to post more.