Needing support and don’t know where to turn

[Victoriousthroughchrist]

Hello, I am a survivor of complex trauma. From the Russian orphanage to being adopted by American parents and then within 2 years being placed into the system. All Ive known is neglect and abandonment. I aged out of the system at 18. Institutionalized in Russia and America. At the age of 18 I was homeless several times. I then went to jail as well for small crimes. Eventually I moved across the country to start over. Ended up in the adult entertainment industry which lead to dissociation and living on survival since this was not what I wanted. Fast forward to now, I am married with 2 children. I am debating my husband is either a narcissist or a very emotional
Immature young man. I am 27 and he is 28. We have a 1 year old and a 2 year old. I have a strong Christian faith and that is what I believe has helped me survive and be resilient through my life. I'd love to post some of my relationship details to get advice and support. I don't have any. Literally no one other than my therapist who I am starting with this coming week. As someone with ptsd I can have extreme views and clouded judgement so I need help thanks!! 

[Rebel13]

Hello, Victorious, and welcome. There are many people here who share your experience of difficult relationships, and I know some of them will chime in with stories and support. In the meantime, you might check out the "Chosen Relationships" section of the forum to read others' stories and suggestions. In the Toolbox section of the site you will find articles on how to cope with difficult behaviors and situations.

I am sorry for all you have suffered and wishing you the best.

[bloomie]

Welcome to Out of the FOG. Thank you for sharing some of the circumstances and difficulties that bring you here. My heart breaks at the thought of all you have experienced.

Reaching out and beginning to build a reliable support system for yourself at this important point in your recovery and life is going to go a long way, along with your faith, to bringing healing.

It benefited me and my own children and relationships to find a trauma informed therapist, a reliable wise older woman as a mentor, a healthy faith community, to read books, articles, blogs and watch youtube content that supports growth and healing and then to spend time here in this community to grow in my relationships.

I wanted to also point you toward our sister site which is dedicated to supporting people with complex trauma. Many of our members come here to talk issues related to relationships that are causing hurt and confusion and at Out of the Storm to talk about issues as they relate to abuse and neglect in their childhoods.

Another resource that is grounding for me it the toolbox at the drop down menu above. Take some time and settle in, look through the resources and begin reading the threads and when you are ready, join the conversations.

I look forward to supporting you!

[1footouttadefog]

I read another thread of yours. 

This background gives more details.  You have a lot on your plate.  Stay grounded, because this will not be a fast or easy journey. 

The good news is it can get better, perhaps much much better.  There are resources here that will help. 

You are recognizing the parts of your background story that contribute and even have pimpin ted some of your own tendencies that are part of the equation.

Such self reflection is a very positive thing.  The lack of it is why so many PD people don't change.  We can however and that is the best news.

It might seem backwards at first, but the most important advise that repeats itself here is work on you, because you cannot change the PD. You can change how you react to and feel about them and how you allow them to treat you. And that is what this place is great for.