Am I too old?

[Juju]

I will 70 years old in a few months, I don't feel old but am definitely feeling it but still feel like there is a lot of life ahead of me.  I think what it would be like to be on my own again because my partner will not go anywhere with me. He suffers from every phobia you could think of.  The problem is he is great company but we are at odds a lot of the time because of his issues.  I do accept him as he is but still miss a life that is free without worrying about his feelings.  My husband has been gone now for 12 years and I met my partner now 9 years ago ... I wish I were more confident in myself to be alone but I have been alone before and it is hard. I think of my future with him and my last 5 10 15 or 20 years with him and wonder if my life would be better without him! It is a hard decision that I crapple with.  What the hell!!!!

[Rebel13]

Hi Juju! I don't believe in "too old" for anything -- but I wonder, if your main issue with your partner is that he won't go anywhere with you, and you break up -- you still will be going places on your own? Maybe I don't understand the problem but I don't see how breaking up with him fixes it. If you are unhappy about disagreements about him going places with you, can you accept that he isn't going to do that and stop asking? Can you accept the other aspects of the relationship that you don't like? If you broke up, would you look for another partner you might have more interests things in common with?

I wish you good luck in sorting out what you can and can't accept in your relationship and figuring out what you want to do. These are tough decisions, for sure.

[Juju]

I think I can and am happy for awhile then he makes me mad when he is soooo unwilling.  I can accept him but feel sorry for myself at times and have to vent!

thank you for your wise words

[1footouttadefog]

I don't have enough details to have full insight. 

You are the only one who can decide if this arrangement works. I would suggest asking yourself hard questions like

Do I enjoy the time I spend with my partner when I am home with him?

Is my partner supportive of my pursuing my goals of they take me out of the house. 

Am I made to pay a price when I leave the home to pursue my goals and attend to me needs?

Do negative behaviours increase if I provide self care or seek my own interests.

Are my partners issues used to control me.  Do they get worse right around times when I have things going on for example.

Does my partner show any selectivity regarding when and how his symptoms impact his abilities to participate in life?

These are rhetorical of course.