Invasive Mother in law

[Tired girl 28]

Hi I am recovering from breaking up with my bf is mother said I couldn't stay at his unless I apologise to her yet she was in the wrong as she yelled at me on the phone before this and I blocked her number. Then I went over to bf house and she had her own surveillance on us and saw we were discussing a fake apology. I then had to apologise to her on the phone after an hour later as my bf had run errands for her get her favourite donuts this took an hour to get to hers. So I apologise but I felt forced and control so this week I broke up with him for my own freedom. I feel sorry he has to live with her. Is this sociopath behaviour?

[Tired girl 28]

I felt forced to apologise and this is  because she yelled have I got a problem with her on the phone over a text I didn't reply to so I blocked her. I have brocken up with bf now and don't know what counselling services I should see as I can only afford bulk billing

[moglow]

I'm sorry you felt the need to break up, but I'm not sure what your other options were here. With no history/background to work with (how was she invasive? How long were you together?), I'll just say this: it really is her house her rules. Maybe she doesn't want her son's girlfriend staying at her house, period. I mean, if he's an adult and wants his lady to stay over, he needs his own place. I wouldn't *want* to stay in the parents' house, but that's just me. I understand finances and all that but still, few parents want that in their home. He has choices and may need to reconsider going forward. With that ...

What's your boyfriend's response to all of this? Is he going along, to get along with her? If you're (he's?) unable to talk with her without a meltdown, there are bigger problems than an apology. That may be what he feels he has to do and not likely to change. I'm just saying this may be who she is and what she does, and her family does as best they can - tip toeing around her. In that, this situation could be a big wake up call for them - or it could be another with which they're all too familiar. Not everyone wants to live that way.

When all else fails it helps me to think about the golden rule, treating others as I'd like to be treated - looking first to my own behavior (since that's the only thing I can control or change). You were seriously going to present a fake apology?? To what purpose other than to get around her temporarily? I'm sorry but that sounds childish and self serving. By all means offer a sincere apology when it's warranted, when you regret something said or done, but don't take it just to get by. Be who you are and accountable for yourself, and act accordingly.