Beginning med journey with PDh

[HealingGarden]

Thank you to those who welcomed me. I'm still very new to online forums, so I hope I'm posting in the right place. I introduced myself in the Welcome Mat and would like to share a little more about what brought me here.

My "Out of the FOG" moment:  after years of up and down behavior a hateful tirade aimed at me during a counseling session was what awakened me.

With things I am learning and resources like this forum I am becoming more of an observer/Grey Rock rather than being Hoovered into the chaos. I no longer think that this can be "fixed".  Divorce is no longer an unthinkable thought, it is an available option. I'm focusing upon my wellbeing and am grateful this forum pointed me to the book, Should I Stay or Should I Go, as well as The Verbally Abusive Relationship. 

In the meantime, my husband saw his doctor who prescribed low-dose Abilify to go along with the already prescribed Lexapro.  I am pleased he is getting help, but I am standing on the sidelines.  Time will tell if meds and therapy will help him and whether it will provide sustained stability. 

I'm not looking for medical advice—mostly support, perspective, and help thinking through boundaries.

Thank you for being patient while I learn how the forum works.

[Rebel13]

Hi HealingGarden,

Welcome again, and all the best to you in this complicated journey you are on. It sounds like you are taking action to protect yourself and minimize reactivity to the best of your ability.

Let us know how it goes!

[square]

Welcome.

I'll share my personal experience. My husband being on meds did smooth things out a bit, he was less reactive. There were fewer blowups, and if he did get upset it wasn't as severe as before. It really helped me refill my tank a little bit because I was beyond empty.

Personality disorders aren't the same as mood disorders, though. Meds don't touch the underlying thinking.

My husband still believed the universe is out to get him, believed I was incapable of knowing suffering, believed I "owed" him for living a "perfect" life, and so on. These thoughts didn't change, but they didn't erupt to the surface as much.

It's possible that the mood stabilizer might have been enough to patch things up many years ago. But the years of serious damage to our marriage were too much for this patch to hold things together.

My experience is no prediction of yours, just sharing it as one possible outcome.

Stick around and keep reading/sharing.

[HealingGarden]

Thanks, Rebel 13 for the encouragement. 

Thank you, Square, for the perspective.  Although I have only been married for two years, I can already see that the frequent blow ups leave a debris field of pain.  Thank you for your honesty that the medication "patch" didn't save the marriage.  I am trying not to pin my hopes to the medication.  You sound strong and clear and I appreciate your taking the time to share your story.