New to group

[BeyondTheMud]

I'm new to this group, but I feel like I've earned a "diploma"—and maybe even some college credits—when it comes to personality disorders, especially narcissism. I got married 17 years ago despite clear red flags that I chose to ignore. I knew something wasn't right, but I didn't fully realize how serious it was until just before COVID.

About two years ago, a close friend told me I was experiencing abuse. I was shocked. I spent a month or two reflecting on that before I started researching abuse in marriages involving men. It didn't take long to notice clear connections between personality disorders and abusive behavior, particularly narcissistic abuse. As I learned more, more and more boxes were checked.

I moved out for a few months and used that time to better understand these dynamics—things like DARVO, love-bombing, devaluing, breadcrumbing, discarding, and the roles of fear, obligation, and guilt. She promised she would change, so I moved back in—but it was worse. We tried marriage counseling and even attended a marriage encounter, where I first learned about boundaries, but ultimately it was about a year lost.

I eventually moved out again and filed for divorce two weeks later. I'm now living on my own in a different city and looking to support others who may be going through something similar.

[bloomie]

BeyondTheMud - thank you so much for giving us a bit of context to the relationship challenges that bring you here. You have made great strides and I can only imagine the journey it has taken to break free and start anew.

This is a great community of fellow travelers!

[hhaw]

Mud:

I left a response to your question on the other board.  Sorry I missed it.

He w are your 3 daughters doing?  How are you?