hello

[Seeking]

Hi,

I'm Seeker.  I'm trying to make sense of what I've been through. It's complicated seems like.  The former spouse was probably in cluster B.  Somehow I survived, got divorced 3 years ago, and I've got lots of questions that I haven't found answers that seem to fit yet. 

Thanks for having me. 

[xredshoesx]

welcome to the group @Seeking

I started off here posting about my ex, but found out on the way it was my most likely PD mother than groomed me for his abuse- what I have learned here is priceless in helping me deal with very difficult people and helped me twice on the job with two different administrators getting fired bc of the level of documentation I learned at the feet of the great people here-

when you are ready to share more, we're listing.

[Seeking]

@xredshoesx

Thanks for the warm welcome.  Yeah not funny that the family dynamic that existed when we were growing up was what led us into not good places.  I know that for me it created vulnerabilities that left me wide open for the love bombing / mirroring.   

It's complicated because the former spouse died earlier this year which was a yuge relief and now .. lots of questions, lots of tangled emotions.

[xredshoesx]

death sometimes brings up all the unresolved feelings for sure-  just take it one day at a time, and sometimes having some space from the relationship helps you get a handle on what you are feeling and how to rewire your brain to be at less of a risk to undergo this kind of treatment again (esp after growing up in a home that was emotionally unsafe)

take it one day at a time-

[angleface900]

Hi. Just came out a difficult and bad situation with a group that I was once felt close to and I'm trying to recover and seek healing from it and how that situation affected me.

[Seeking]

xredshoesx

I'm not looking to re-enter the dating market at this time.  I know it's been 3 years since the divorce was final it's that I'm not back on my square. I'm healing on so many levels and I would be better served by getting as healthy as possible on all levels first and then decide at that point whether I should enter the dating market again.  I'm not saying "no" forever, just "no" for the time being. 

As far as the former spouse goes .. I'm thankful that she is no longer around to be a undefined threat that I was still braced for her probable actions.  I'm not grieving in the usual sense.  I am grieving, I'm grieving the time, I'm grieving the person that I was, I'm grieving the associated losses.  Maybe I'm an outlier.  When the inner "idea" of the person that I married broke, all the love, care, kindness, and concern left at the same moment.  She became "threat".   

[Dannie]

Hi
I'm sorry to post on your thread but I can't see how to make a first post. Can anyone explain please?

[Seeking]

Hi
I'm sorry to post on your thread but I can't see how to make a first post. Can anyone explain please?

at the top of the board click on new subject.  a window will appear and it's just like how you posted here.