"Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with BPD or NPD" by Eddy

[divorcespd]

In the book "Splitting", it says (pg 27) that "it can backfire to mention the diagnosis in court"  Can anyone please tell me what is meant by that bc I have not finished reading the book and my attorney thinks we should submit my Schizoid PD Husband's psychiatric records including his diagnosis ASAP.    Thanks so much for your quick replies

[moglow]

Maybe they're saying it could be used as a way of excusing the behavior, you know "s/he has a documented medical condition and can't be held responsible for her/his behavior" or "this condition is controlled by medication"?  I'm not sure.  You might want to talk further with your attorney about it, see what s/he thinks is the best way of handling it.

[divorcespd]

Thank you.

[Melody]

When I divorced my exhusband the word was that bringing up a diognosis could mean that I could end up paying to support him. And he would have protected rights that he would not have other wise. He was antisocial PD so not a good idea to give him any power over me or the children.

[Seahorse]

Is this book specically about divorcing a PD?
If not I know there are a few that are...

[DarleneHathaway]

Yeah, you don't want their diagnosis to be used against you like they're handicapped and can't be held accountable for anything.  Interesting.

[divorcespd]

thank you for your answers.  It sounds like a little bit of damned if you do (tell the diagnosis) and damned if you don't.  Anyone know any good books on dealing with people with  Schizoid Personality Disorder?  It doesn't seem to be as common as BPD an NPD?  Thanks

[Cricket]

I read some law books in 1996, so that's a way back.  It did state if the plaintiff provoked someone to have a psychotic episode, the defendant would be held responsible.  However, the defendant would be only held responsible if he knew of the disorder.  I don't know if that applies to your case or your state statues.

I think it's tricky.  Does it concern custody?

I think if you read up on Schizophrenia it would be close to Schizoid.  I read the DSM for diagnosis.  You are right, it's very different.  It is like a borderline schizophrenic.

Calmly and specifically telling him that you don't like some of his behavior is suppose to be an approach used.  Joking and touching is tough for them too. 

This will be tough in mediation.

[ReadyToRun]

I don't know if this has been posted before, but I just found a great book called "Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline Or Narcissistic Personality Disorder".  I'm about a third of the way through and it is excellent so far!

[Daphne1]

I should find a book about divorcing or separating a sociopath but I guess at least mine is locked up for now

[Goddess]

You can get that book on Kindle, too...and read it immediately if you want!  I liked it, although it was more relevant to someone in the US.

[Hoolio]

IMHO This book is a bible for anyone planning to leave a BPD wife.

Really helped me.

[snoflinga]

THE BEST. I would never have been able to make it through my BPD divorce without this book. Some days I just carried it around with me and thumbed through the pages to survive. I don't say this often, but this book is an absolute must-have for anyone separating from or divorcing a PD.

I loved that it went into WHY they act in the horrible ways they do, outlined common PD behaviors during a divorce, and gave clear, precise instructions on how to handle these common issues. It was like they knew my ex, it was uncanny. Because of this book I got out with my self intact and the divorce I wanted. No exaggeration.

As far as the OP question about not bringing up your ex's diagnosis in court, my understanding is that applies of your ex is UNdiagnosed. If you start saying, "well I think he's a narcissist" or "She's totally a BPD" it can make you look like you are maximizing their behavior and being dramatic. It is much more effective to show the court patterns of negative behavior, and let them come to their own conclusion.

[Hoolio]

I went to a divorcing / separating Father's meet up recently..

all 9 fathers there almost walked from the pages of "Splitting"  - as victims of their BPD wives bogus accusations of molestation, police call outs, assault charges.

Essential reading IMHO