New (to me) in Trauma Recovery

[Lookin 2 B Free]

This week my trauma T and another trusted source really talked up IFS (Internal Family Systems) as life changing.  I saw a few of Schwartz's demo videos of it and read some of No Bad Parts (as in parts of ourselves).  It looks very powerful.

Apparently Richard Schwartz has worked extensively with pwPD's.

Has anyone here heard of it or tried it?  What was your experience?

[treesgrowslowly]

Hi Lookin,

I have been learning about IFS over the last while. It has a good reputation in the world of trauma recovery I think. I've heard Gabor Mate reference it many times in interviews when he is asked which therapies he sees as useful for trauma.

Every video I've watched with Schwartz has been helpful to me, and spot on in terms of how it relates to recovering from my PD abuse.

I think the advantage it has, in my experience, is that it assists very much with the work to address the questions: who are we, why do we behave the way that we do, and what prevents us from being more "ourselves"? I got a lot out of EMDR in the past but IFS was more useful to explore the questions around how the trauma impacted sense of self.

I liked thinking about my experiences through the IFS view of things. As a parentified child, I could really relate to the idea that we have this manager part that has to know how to manage things. The pressure to be a little adult was huge for me with my parents being unable to parent us. IFS seemed really helpful in terms of understanding what to do with my manager part these days, as an adult, and to better understand my frustrations.

What was it that looked powerful to you? I agree, I think it is a powerful way to look at what goes on inside of us.

Trees

[Lookin 2 B Free]

Thanks, Trees.  I had a similar childhood to yours, caretaking the parent, the family ... anyone who needed it and probably some who didn't. 

I have long felt that a strong protective aspect of me, which alerts very easily to keep me emotionally safe, is overactive and really limiting me.  I found EMDR helpful, but it didn't unlock this.  I feel constricted by this protective mechanism which seems pretty involuntary.  I want to unshackle myself from it so I can just use good self care appropriate for the situation and be freer to move through the world feeling safer and less reactive.

I love the idea of taking these IFS protectors, having them step aside enough to deal with the traumatized part, and then give the protectors a more realistic role to continue on with based on the current relatively safe situation and not the old horrendous threats.

When I heard Schwartz explain the 2 types of protectors, manager and firefighter, not only did I see myself, but the PD's behavior immediately made so much sense.  (Not that that's the important thing, but it was kind of nice.  Like "Oh! Of course!  That's why they acted like that." 
  
Managers are doing the day-to-day controlling while firefighters kick in like it's life or death and they have to get that fire out no matter the cost.  That could be blowing up a job, a marriage, a child's wellbeing, or their own promising future.  I think pwPDs are probably in firefighter mode a good deal of the time.  (And, NO, I'm not tempted to take these theories to my old PDex and FOO and try to fix them!  Thank heavens, bc there was a time I would have been.)

Reading transcripts of his sessions, it seems to me IFS really can change us at a level other trauma therapies haven't had as much success with.  So now I really want to try it with my trauma T (who was trained by Schwartz).  Hopefully soon!