Common Traits of Adult Children

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Tabitha

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Re: Common Traits of Adult Children
« Reply #40 on: June 15, 2013, 08:14:06 PM »
This is a really interesting post. Like many of you I have a HUGE ego and tiny little self esteem. Years of being criticised at every turn I guess. Funny enough though, I don't play down my birthday, I make it a HUGE DEAL!!! I think it is because that was the only day I felt Ok about making anything about me, without feeling selfish.

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Thorman

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Re: Common Traits of Adult Children
« Reply #41 on: May 11, 2017, 09:47:58 AM »
Although this thread is old, i just wanted to refresh is for others who are struggling with similar problems. It just occurred to me that i have many of the same problems on this list.

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unnamed

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Re: Common Traits of Adult Children
« Reply #42 on: May 11, 2017, 03:02:04 PM »
Iím an adoptee.  Raised by an extremely abusive woman, and enabling [weekend alcoholic] man.  I was 3 months old, and they were 40 years old [unhappily married] when they included me in their dysfunctional relationship.  4 years later, they adopted a baby boy who became my little brother.  He grew up to be a homeless alcoholic [heís now deceased as a result]. 

NM was verbally and physically abusive.  She never hugged me, praised me, or said she loved me.  She was always mad at someone for something?  Punished me heavy-handedly and without remorse.  That said, my brother got the worst of it.  During one of NMís violent rages, I saw her smack ENdadís face and throw a plate of dinner at his head.  ENdad passed away more than 30 years ago, and it's been more than a decade since I went NC with NM.

I relate to being an Empath [suffered from "sympathy pains" when ENdad was battling cancer]
I love animals, especially dogs
I love nature
Iím artistic
Highly sensitive
Intuitive
Prefer to give, rather than receive
Don't like being complimented
Despise being the centre of attention, don't like being celebrated [especially my birthday]
Extremely emotional
Struggle with depression/anxiety
Question my purpose in life
Doubt myself to a fault
Almost non existent self esteem/confidence
Insecure
Reclusive
Divorced and single by choice [after being married 20+ years to an abusive-criminal]
Mother of 2 [DD27 & DS25] who I love more than anything

I wonder if "I am who I am," as the result of being raised in a toxic environment, or was I born this way?  If Iíd been raised by my birth mother/birth family [who I have never met] would I still be the same person?  Huge part of the problem, is that I don't really know who I am at all...

So many unanswered questions.