Any Jehovah's Witnesses here?

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142757

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Re: Any Jehovah's Witnesses here?
« Reply #20 on: April 25, 2014, 08:58:43 AM »


I know at least some Ts have evening appointments and some might even do weekends.  It's worth looking into, especially since your marriage has affected you so much.



 :like:
[/quote]I'll look into it. I am planning on moving closer to work (currently commuting 3hrs round trip every weekday). It is a larger town, so I may find someplace who provides service like that.
"Somedays you just can't get rid of a bomb."

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Mare Kaio

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Re: Any Jehovah's Witnesses here?
« Reply #21 on: April 25, 2014, 11:41:16 AM »
Hi, I understand you'd like to hear the perspective of other JWs. I'm not a JW, but I'm an immigrant, and I've found that it helps me to talk with people with a similar cultural background. As you said, it's good to have a wide range of perspectives, but at the same time, sometimes it's very difficult to explain something to someone with a different cultural or religious background, or it is hard to fully understand what someone from a different background is saying. For example, in the country I live now, people are very explicit in expressing their validation. That is wonderful and it has helped me a great deal. However, in the country I grew up, people are much more implicit in those matters, and it's hard for me to truly "feel" that explicit forms of validation are real. There may be different, but similar, issues in your case, with your religious background; you may have particular values that are hard to explain to a non-JW. In a sense, I think it's the same with everyone: we all need a T with whom we "click" -- if you have a particular religious or cultural background, you can point to a "reason" why it doesn't click in some cases, but in the end, we all need that click, no matter what our background is.

In any case, what I did is find a T that does sessions over Skype. There are more and more that do that. I can recommend it wholeheartedly; it's more flexible (locationwise and timewise -- I did it from home, at 6 in the morning), and perhaps it's easier to find a T who happens to have a similar religious background.

All the best!

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Spring Butterfly

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Re: Any Jehovah's Witnesses here?
« Reply #22 on: August 05, 2014, 10:08:05 AM »
The book Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend is solidly based in scripture and very enlightening. I highly recommend it to all even those who don't believe the Bible since the principles are so sound. If you're not a Bible reader simply ignore the verse reference and focus on the principle. 

ETA- Apologies I just was rereading previous posts and realize it's already been recommended. There is a workbook also that is helpful - and free.
http://www.cloudtownsend.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Boundaries-New-Revised-DVD-Facilitator-Guide_-Revised0812.pdf

The sub forum here on OOTF "Committed to Working On It" is for discussion of those things related to staying in and working on longer term relationships. The purpose of OOTF is not to advise whether you leave or stay - that is your choice and the guidelines require all to respect one another's choices.

From their official website JW.org
On mental illness
http://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/102004647
http://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/102004000
http://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/1200273765

On marriage and divorce
http://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/1203225#p486
« Last Edit: August 05, 2014, 10:38:26 AM by SpringButterfly »
Every interaction w/ PD persons results in damage. Plan accordingly, make time to heal
Individuation is the key to emotional freedom
It's foolish to expect of others what they have no capacity to give
If others were self observant, introspective, this forum would not exist

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whataboutbob

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Re: Any Jehovah's Witnesses here?
« Reply #23 on: August 08, 2014, 05:13:33 PM »
Another thing here on this thread is that we were born with consciences. It might be a brain disorder because the world is an evil place. :-) I'm not sure if I'm an advanced genetic memory or challenged. But, my dog and cat are safe, my children are doing great and I'm not fucking with anyone. Many of the PD experts speak their voice about wondering if there is something wrong with them and if their life would be better without a conscience. I'm going to stay in my little happy place knowing that my actions are not hurting another.

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FallenLeaves

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Re: Any Jehovah's Witnesses here?
« Reply #24 on: January 05, 2015, 08:05:19 PM »
I'm JW, just new here...



"At any given moment you have the power to say: This is not how the story is going to end."

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Kwezibongi

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Re: Any Jehovah's Witnesses here?
« Reply #25 on: April 20, 2015, 12:44:04 AM »
I am one of Jehovah's Witnesses. I truly feel your pain and frustration. My own experience of dealing with a husband with a BPD has taught me a few things. (This is repeated in a lot of our magazines, just search "disorder" in watchtower library)

 1. The minute you suspect that your loved one has a mental disorder even a mood disorder, you need to obtain professional help for them ( even well-meaning elders are not qualified in this respect) . I will also suggest that you get help for yourself you if you suspect exposure might have affected your own mental health).

 2. Maintain your spiritual health.. (Daily bible reading, in depth study, field ministry, meeting attendance, association with other brothers and sisters, prayer) helps me  put things in proper perspective and gives me the strength I need to carry on.

3. Knowledge  about the specific disorder helped me to have insight in how I react, and not add unnecessary fuel to the fire and lowered my anxiety over not being a good wife etc.. My marriage has gone from frequent silent treatments, tears  (my usual response to rage and criticism.. Which didn't work) to a smile or I look at him like he is crazy when he is throwing one of his  tantrums... ( the smiling reminds me that he is the crazy one.. Not me.. ) .

Whilst each marriage is different (even for Jehovah's People), spending more relaxed time with hubby both of us pioneering, doing our bible reading together, selecting upbuilding material for family worship evenings, preparing for meetings together, recreation, (less technology time) and having spiritual goals certainly HELPS me. But before you do all that.. STEP 1. is get him professional help, it is critical...

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Kwezibongi

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Re: Any Jehovah's Witnesses here?
« Reply #26 on: April 20, 2015, 01:12:25 AM »
Just realized I was a year too late on my post... My apologies.. Didn't check the date... All the best wishes my brother

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142757

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Re: Any Jehovah's Witnesses here?
« Reply #27 on: April 20, 2015, 11:50:26 AM »
Just realized I was a year too late on my post... My apologies.. Didn't check the date... All the best wishes my brother
No problem. Good timeless advice, regardless. Getting them to get help is the hardest task in the whole ordeal. My now ex won't listen to anyone but her imagination. Last Thursday, she nearly ran me over in the KH parking lot in order to "ignore" me.
"Somedays you just can't get rid of a bomb."

Adam West (Batman)
9/19/28 - 6/10/17

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lisabpd

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Re: Any Jehovah's Witnesses here?
« Reply #28 on: October 21, 2015, 10:23:34 PM »
   I am baptized JW for decades (currently active).  Recently SELF-diagnosed as bpd after so many years of suffering intensely - ESPECIALLY in the congregational setting.  I can FEEL the COMFORT of the honesty of your words - my issues of trying to effectively communicate with elders and circuit overseers has usually backfired - either the response was neutral (neither helpful nor hurtful) - but on several occasions over the years it was INTENSELY hurtful and I suffered so long and so deeply that I believe only a BPD could understand.  (I have been without any family members in the truth for decades now - I believe that this adds an extra burden and sense of feeling un-connected in the congregation.)  I guess I felt that they would have a (please excuse the expression) "magic wand" and could sprinkle it over me and fix me.  Also, I wanted some to"get it" and to confess to the ways they wronged me while they handled my ex-husband's judicial matters, and to understand and apologize.  BUT:  "STOP trying to get water from an empty well."

   Bottom line:  Jehovah ALLOWS such things.  Is it because "they" cannot help us and it drives us to get the "professional" help that we so badly need?  I trust Jehovah.  I fully trust that this is the organization he is using.  And I can ask him "Why did you allow this to happen to me?" IF I want to "LEARN something."  But, as I think I HAVE been doing in the past, it is NOT okay to say to Jehovah "Why did you allow this to happen to me?" if it were to infer that his allowance of it were in any way unjust.  THIS THOUGHT IS MORE FULLY DESCRIBED IN AN OLDER ARTICLE:  DO NOT BECOME ENRAGED AGAINST JEHOVAH.

   I have never joined a web-site for JW discussion, but I was desperate and am so glad to have found you guys and your contributions.  If any of you are still looking at this site, please give me some feedback.  Last week I started with a HIGHLY skilled therapist for this disorder (that I feel amazingly comfortable and safe with), but it will take a few weeks for him to determine if he is actually willing to work with my case. 

  Before I go to sleep I frequently listen to a WT audio article "How To Maintain a Positive Viewpoint" in the STUDY Watchtower of March 15, 2014.  It is SO much more than the title sounds like.  Please check it out.  Yes, I too searched on the WT library disk for "borderline personality" and found nothing.  Perhaps if I can make the time, I will write to WT and ask them - or who knows maybe there will be an article in the very near future - we SURE could use one!

  Till I hear from you again, take care and please stay as well as you can.
« Last Edit: October 21, 2015, 10:35:11 PM by Spring Butterfly »

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Spring Butterfly

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Re: Any Jehovah's Witnesses here?
« Reply #29 on: October 21, 2015, 10:40:10 PM »
Welcome and congratulations for taking that first step and reaching out. Because you have identified yourself as someone who suffers from BPD and are interested in finding a supporting community I encourage you to look at these sites:

Borderline personality disorder (BPD)
http://www.psychforums.com/borderline-personality/
https://www.facebook.com/BPDRecovery
http://www.bpdrecovery.com/       * information only as site forum is not active in 2015


Out of the FOG is a community dedicated to offering support and information to people who have a loved one or family member who suffers from a personality disorder. Because of this, you may find many of the posts here triggering. That doesn't necessarily exclude those who also have a PD from participating but the rule is that we come here to discuss our relationship issues as they pertain to the other people in our lives with a PD, not PD recovery issues as they pertain to the self. If you suffer from, or suspect you suffer from a personality disorder,  we welcome your participation as long as the discussion still revolves around dealing with the loved ones in your life with a PD and not on your own recovery from a PD.

We wish you the best on your healing journey.
Every interaction w/ PD persons results in damage. Plan accordingly, make time to heal
Individuation is the key to emotional freedom
It's foolish to expect of others what they have no capacity to give
If others were self observant, introspective, this forum would not exist

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142757

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Re: Any Jehovah's Witnesses here?
« Reply #30 on: October 22, 2015, 12:40:54 AM »
   I am baptized JW for decades (currently active).  Recently SELF-diagnosed as bpd after so many years of suffering intensely - ESPECIALLY in the congregational setting.  I can FEEL the COMFORT of the honesty of your words - my issues of trying to effectively communicate with elders and circuit overseers has usually backfired - either the response was neutral (neither helpful nor hurtful) - but on several occasions over the years it was INTENSELY hurtful and I suffered so long and so deeply that I believe only a BPD could understand.  (I have been without any family members in the truth for decades now - I believe that this adds an extra burden and sense of feeling un-connected in the congregation.)  I guess I felt that they would have a (please excuse the expression) "magic wand" and could sprinkle it over me and fix me.  Also, I wanted some to"get it" and to confess to the ways they wronged me while they handled my ex-husband's judicial matters, and to understand and apologize.  BUT:  "STOP trying to get water from an empty well."

   Bottom line:  Jehovah ALLOWS such things.  Is it because "they" cannot help us and it drives us to get the "professional" help that we so badly need?  I trust Jehovah.  I fully trust that this is the organization he is using.  And I can ask him "Why did you allow this to happen to me?" IF I want to "LEARN something."  But, as I think I HAVE been doing in the past, it is NOT okay to say to Jehovah "Why did you allow this to happen to me?" if it were to infer that his allowance of it were in any way unjust.  THIS THOUGHT IS MORE FULLY DESCRIBED IN AN OLDER ARTICLE:  DO NOT BECOME ENRAGED AGAINST JEHOVAH.

   I have never joined a web-site for JW discussion, but I was desperate and am so glad to have found you guys and your contributions.  If any of you are still looking at this site, please give me some feedback.  Last week I started with a HIGHLY skilled therapist for this disorder (that I feel amazingly comfortable and safe with), but it will take a few weeks for him to determine if he is actually willing to work with my case. 

  Before I go to sleep I frequently listen to a WT audio article "How To Maintain a Positive Viewpoint" in the STUDY Watchtower of March 15, 2014.  It is SO much more than the title sounds like.  Please check it out.  Yes, I too searched on the WT library disk for "borderline personality" and found nothing.  Perhaps if I can make the time, I will write to WT and ask them - or who knows maybe there will be an article in the very near future - we SURE could use one!

  Till I hear from you again, take care and please stay as well as you can.
Hello lisa. So glad to meet you. & so glad to hear your words of faith.

Just to let you know, what spring butterfly says is correct. People come up here to vent about the PD's they are dealing with. So posting on this site may not be the best for you. However, I'm your brother. And I will always be willing to give you any support I can muster.

« Last Edit: October 22, 2015, 09:32:15 AM by Spring Butterfly »
"Somedays you just can't get rid of a bomb."

Adam West (Batman)
9/19/28 - 6/10/17