Hawkie, my three sons came over and supported my grief with my dad dying and it was managed by them, they knew it was hard for me and my first words in my prayer at the fire were "God please forgive my father.." because that is so hard to do. And I prayed that "my children had some good memories with their grandfather", which we did talk about later around the fire. There were hundreds of sticks burnt that day and they were every dismissal, every abusive act, every hurt and they were gone. It burned for three days, with smoke still coming off of it the third day and the fourth day it had cooled off. It was weird really, the fire lasting so long.
(H never met him but supported me and he heard our last phone call--weeks later he still is shocked at the things my dad said to me)
Breaking a cord, or as someone here said, can you just say a prayer and send it off into the universe to share your forgiveness or letting go. I think it lands outside yourself, in the universe but not at your feet. It's gone, it's out there, the truth doesn't change but the feelings get better.
My aunt, her abusive dad was dead, she really helped me make sense of forgiveness (by listening unconditionally and asking questions) and she was able to do that with her dad being dead before she figured it out (my grandfather and my dad were cut from the same cloth). So I almost think of my aunt as a wiser elder that helped me by sharing her medicine, her wisdom to get to where I could benefit from her experience. It helped so much. So if you can take this 'medicine', if you can cut the cord, let the end of it land in the universe on mars or in another galaxy or somewhere in God's Kingdom depending on your frame of reference, then do it for you. You are worth it, taking that is not 'taking' it doesn't deprive anyone of anything, forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.
I loved, I loved what I wanted in a dad, I loved him when he didn't treat me right, I loved, it's okay to love. That is how love is, it's just like forgiveness, it's a gift.