Hardened hearts

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itmakesense

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Hardened hearts
« on: August 07, 2014, 06:22:45 PM »
I usually post from my phone so copy and paste or adding links is difficult but I had an interesting thought last night.

There are many biblical references to "their hearts were hardened" or eyes not seeing and ears not hearing. 

A quick google should bring up the relevant scriptures. I just connected those to PD and thought I would share my epiphany. Curious stuff huh?

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flee

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Re: Hardened hearts
« Reply #1 on: August 08, 2014, 01:53:59 AM »
Yes, yes, SO GLAD someone else sees it.  Before I ever encountered the NPD thing, I always thought with NM: "Her heart is so hard." In the parable of the soils, where Jesus talks about the seed sowed on the pathway and the birds coming and eating it up... that's a hard soil. I felt like every effort and attempt to show love, grace, compassion and care - let alone speak any sort of gospel truth - was wasted effort. Somehow it would be completely missed or taken for granted.

Finally, my pastor confronted me as relates to my mom with the passage about pearls before swine and I got the picture. No amount of love or grace shown to NM is going to help her see her need. Her heart was not my responsibility to soften. It was very freeing.
"Those who do not move do not notice their chains."  - Rosa Luxemburg

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Spring Butterfly

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Re: Hardened hearts
« Reply #2 on: August 08, 2014, 05:05:52 PM »
Unresponsive hearts and blind eye toward their on behavior. Interesting thought. Thank you Happy.
Each and every contact with a PD person results in damage. Plan accordingly and make time to heal. See Toolbox for tips. Individuation is the key to emotional freedom.

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unsinkable

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Re: Hardened hearts
« Reply #3 on: November 02, 2014, 03:17:38 AM »
Yes, a hard heart would describe my NPD son. It's baffling, because he was the sweetest, happiest my loving little boy. When I am with him now I really feel like I'm in the presence of a stranger. I will always hope for a miraculous healing of his PD, trusting that our God can soften a heart of stone, IF it is His will to do so. I pray a lot for my son. His two older brothers worry about him a lot, and can't figure out what happened to him. My counsellor believes that my ex had NPD that was passed down genetically to my youngest son. It makes me so very sad.
"He (God) is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all we can ask or think." "My God shall supply all my needs, according to His riches in glory."

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seekingvision

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Re: Hardened hearts
« Reply #4 on: November 13, 2014, 01:14:08 PM »
Also there are scriptures the ears that hear and eyes that see.

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FaithinGod

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Re: Hardened hearts
« Reply #5 on: November 17, 2014, 10:35:13 AM »
Hi, I have thought about this from time to time. The bible mentions a couple of examples of their "hearts being hardened or being blinded" that come to mind. God's people were blinded, so gentiles could be grafted in, or when God hardened Pharaoh's heart when Moses was used to free God's people.
This is very interesting and it is like our personality disorders are blinded and their hearts hardened. It's like God makes all kinds of people and there is a reason for it and we wont know until we get to heaven. I feel like it's a test of faith as to how I handle this situation. I fail often.  I too was blind until I reached this sight and came Out of the FOG. I will have to work on my heart not to be hardened, because this has been a very long and tough road. We have our God, who is our refuge and our strength.  Thanks be to God! 

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VeryFoggy

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Re: Hardened hearts
« Reply #6 on: November 17, 2014, 08:55:59 PM »
Itmakesense - Wow!  You hit the nail on the head.  I have said this about my Ndad all of my life as far back as I can remember. My sister and I have often discussed how he understands "The Word" with his head, but that his heart is hard.  There is no compassion, no empathy, no connection with the humans side of it. He is a minister.  All of my life I have noticed strange things about him. Like when he preached every Sunday morning and every Sunday night, he never made eye contact with any one, not once not ever. Instead he looked at the back of the church, over every one's heads.  ALWAYS.

When he preached about the hypocrites, I was like wow!  I know exactly what a hypocrite looks like and it is you! This was a theme too, and one I started having when I was 15 years old.  I am 57 now.

And the pearls before swine saying that Fleerahab talked about, this has been a theme in my thoughts often concerning my Ndad and my flea infested sister lately. And that it is just not worth trying anymore as they only trample my precious, wonderful self underfoot as they have no compassion or recognition of my true worth and value.  Thank you for posting
as it was truly validating to me.

Anyway, it is so comforting to know that I am not alone in these thoughts.  That others have had them as well.

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unsinkable

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Re: Hardened hearts
« Reply #7 on: November 18, 2014, 03:04:39 AM »
I don't believe that a "hardened heart" can truly love, and the Word says that without LOVE we are just a "resounding gong or a clanging cymbal". There is actually something very tragic about PD's -  they are incapable of real love. I will always love my NPD son, although it's easy to feel anger towards him for all the pain and trauma he has caused. Even so, I have to feel pity for him when I see how empty he seems.  :( :'(
He accepted Jesus as his saviour at age 12, but now any mention of God makes him so angry. I would hate to be in his shoes. It's truly a tragedy!! He was a very joyful child, but now there is no joy in his life.
"He (God) is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all we can ask or think." "My God shall supply all my needs, according to His riches in glory."

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Spring Butterfly

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Re: Hardened hearts
« Reply #8 on: November 24, 2014, 06:54:27 PM »
At the same time its quite possible my uPDm considers me as having a hard and unforgiving heart. Perhaps she doesn't know I need to protect myself and she doesn't know what I am protecting myself from is the present not the past. I don't hold my childhood against her, no, I need to protect my adult self from the PA abuse and control. The child she abused is long grown. She could perhaps see if she chose, and maybe she does, I have no way of knowing, since I'm LC MC and I've attempted many a conversation even in the recent past but she just doesn't want to have that conversation and respect my rights as an individual human. So I'm forced to hold her at arms length. Either way I feel such peace lately and such freedom to just . . . Be
Each and every contact with a PD person results in damage. Plan accordingly and make time to heal. See Toolbox for tips. Individuation is the key to emotional freedom.

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Tinkerbell59

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Re: Hardened hearts
« Reply #9 on: November 25, 2014, 01:26:28 AM »
Hi, I have thought about this from time to time. The bible mentions a couple of examples of their "hearts being hardened or being blinded" that come to mind. God's people were blinded, so gentiles could be grafted in, or when God hardened Pharaoh's heart when Moses was used to free God's people.
This is very interesting and it is like our personality disorders are blinded and their hearts hardened. It's like God makes all kinds of people and there is a reason for it and we wont know until we get to heaven. I feel like it's a test of faith as to how I handle this situation. I fail often.  I too was blind until I reached this sight and came Out of the FOG. I will have to work on my heart not to be hardened, because this has been a very long and tough road. We have our God, who is our refuge and our strength.  Thanks be to God!

+1. I often ask myself why God allows suffering. The holidays are really a hard time for me. Why have I suffered at the hands of my NPD mother? Why do innocent people suffer in general? I have concluded IMO that God allows suffering to turn our souls into diamonds (metaphorically). I am constantly fighting the urge to react to NPD drama. I'm not at the point where I can interact in a good way with her so NC is best for me.

My stbH laughs at me for watching the paranormal tv shows but I think there's a lesson to be learned. I'm convinced our souls; our energy never dies. Whatever you may call that place IMO we don't all go to the same place when we die. I believe more evolved souls go to a higher realm than the less evolved souls. I place PD's into the lower realm category because they have no concept that they are damaged and therefore hurting other people they "claim to love". I find great comfort in believing that those roosters will come home to roost when NPD dies and that he/she will go to the place for lower evolved souls which is not a nice place.

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TLF

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Re: Hardened hearts
« Reply #10 on: April 10, 2015, 11:21:25 PM »
Tink, in the world of Catholicism (my world), that lower place is Purg. :upsidedown:

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Tinkerbell59

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Re: Hardened hearts
« Reply #11 on: April 12, 2015, 02:05:16 AM »
TLF +1.