Resource for Adult Children

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Grahamcracker

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Resource for Adult Children
« on: November 02, 2017, 03:28:35 PM »
I just found this in the library, "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" by Lindsay C. Gibson (2015).  It's more retrospective than prospective, since it's aimed at those adult children, i.e. those who are already raised, but it has some very good discussion of immature parent types.  It doesn't talk in terms of BPD, but it does describe "emotional" and "driven" parents, whose behaviors seem to fit the BPD guidelines, at least roughly.  And it will help parents with small children identify behaviors to be watched for in a spouse.

Interestingly, and worrisome to me, it also describes the "passive parent" type (who it says are often coupled with the driven types), who tend to stand back from the other parent's detrimental behavior, except that this parent is also the more loving and more fun for the child.  The problem comes in when that passive parent does not openly intervene to protect the child, rationalizing or pretending not to see.  Sadly for me and my adult daughter, I see a lot of myself there.
"Wisdom's a gift, but you'd trade it for youth, Age is an honor but still not the truth"  Vampire Weekend.

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JollyJazz

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Re: Resource for Adult Children
« Reply #1 on: November 05, 2017, 10:58:19 PM »
Sorry to hear that GC! It does sound like you are changing things now though. Although you might now wish you had stood up more to your W in the past, you can do this now in the present moment.