Do you attend church with your PD spouse?

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Rainstorm

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Re: Do you attend church with your PD spouse?
« Reply #20 on: April 09, 2015, 01:56:16 PM »
FaithinGod, I am glad you haven't stopped going to church.

 My husband has recently started talking to our home group leader and his wife about our marriage and family problems. It really isn't a big surprise to me considering his need for attention and sympathy, but it is also frustrating. I hope and pray that this couple won't take everything he says at face value. I think part of the issue is not knowing what he has said. I've enjoyed the people in our home group, but I've also found it hard attending with a group of other couples when I sometimes feel like a single, even with my husband attending with me, if that makes any sense. If there is an event we are invited to, he will answer only for himself, as if he were single. Anyways, I'm really leaning towards not attending this group next fall, just to make my difficult life a little easier.

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GracieMae

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Re: Do you attend church with your PD spouse?
« Reply #21 on: April 09, 2015, 02:24:17 PM »
We attend together and have for the last 5 years of our almost 6 year marriage.  I am the spiritual leader of the marriage.  I feel he only goes because I do and plus it makes him look good.  He goes for show only.  I've never seen him open a Bible...ever.  He makes fun of me for making notes or underlining something in my Bible.  He criticizes me for belonging to a weekly women's bible study.  He says he doesn't understand why I go because I'm still not perfect.  Even though I explain it over and over it's not about me being perfect, it's about me being a better person and having a closer relationship with God.  He is one of the biggest hypocrites I've ever seen about churchgoers; but he thinks everyone else is the hypocrite and not him.  We did attend a marriage class lead by our pastor and I thought it would really help; but what it did is bring out the abuse, the PD, and the PTSD.  I've never said anything to anyone about what goes on in our house/marriage; but in January when everything hit the fan I started letting the ladies in my bible study know what was going on.  I don't want my marriage to end and my faith believes anything is possible.  It's just so darn difficult dealing with a PD/PTSD spouse and thinking to yourself you are the one with the problem.  My spouse actually threatens to tell the pastor things just to get me to do things his way.  I'm always the one that needs help, needs straightening out, needs a good talking to.  I'm so tired of him threatening to tattle to the pastor that I now tell him to go ahead and that I no longer care.  It shuts him up pretty quickly.  Thank you for letting me ramble.  Peace and comfort to you all.